Deep down inside of us all is an ugly place. A place that swells and rages when we are surrounded by drivers that we tend to describe with the ugliest of words. If you’ve ever released this tension, you may have screamed things like the following from the confinement of your car:
1. Are you even aware that you have blinkers?!
At least 80% of us have been there. You are peacefully driving along a four way highway. All of a sudden, the driver to your left swerves into your lane with no warning. Whether they almost hit you or not, you’re enraged.
2. The left lane is for passing, *%#^!#^!
My parents had a great name for these folks- Left Lane D*** Brains. But, I wasn’t supposed to know that. In this scenario, you are approaching two vehicles who are driving side by side on the four way. The problem? They are going the same speed! The. Exact. Same. Speed. How are you supposed to pass? Who knows, but they certainly don’t care. Do they not look over awkwardly at each other and notice that they’re doing this?! Mind blowing. There are actually laws in states about this now, people. Get it together.
3. Is it necessary to pull into the parking spot at 40 miles per hour?!
So, you’re chilling in the parking lot before you head to class, work, dinner, etc. You may be leisurely reading a book or listening to the radio. Before you know it, WHAM, someone has just whipped their oversized Hummer into the spot beside you like they were crossing the finish line at the Daytona 500. And, rest assured, it was definitely within 6 inches of hitting your car. Public Service Announcement: this is absolutely unnecessary. 5 MPH is a much more appropriate speed with which to park.
4. How do you feel about a brake check, buddy?!
This, in my opinion, is the worst offense on the list. I don’t think tailgaters understand that being 100 feet behind my vehicle and driving 60 MPH is going to get them to the same place, at the same time, as driving the same speed 10 feet behind my vehicle. The only difference is the fact that the tailgater is putting themselves, and you, at a much greater risk of an accident when driving 10 feet behind you. I pray for everyone involved on the day that I brake check someone who’s texting. (Author’s Note: Yes, brake checking is bad. But, we ARE talking about those with road rage.)
5. Can you please just pick a speed?!
This is a classic. To argue for their side, I have had a car without cruise control before. I understand that some variation in speed is inevitable. However, some variation in speed, and constantly altering your speed, are two different things. My favorite is when they are traveling 40 MPH, so you pass them- just to have them speed up to pass you angrily two minutes later. And I bet no one can guess what happens four minutes after that. Yep, you’re passing them again.
On a serious note, road rage can turn into a dangerous thing. Don’t be crazy when you drive. It’s dangerous. I’ve finally made it to the point where I’ve stopped screaming out loud and instead smile, slow down, and scream at them in my head. The likelihood of landing yourself in jail is much lower with this option, so try it instead.