Having a best friend who is in the friendzone can be tricky to navigate! Maybe you wish you could hang out more but know you shouldn’t lead them on. Well, I’m here to tell you maybe it’s worth it to give them a chance. This is coming from someone who is now married to a boy who I told (twice) we would never be more than just friends. Here are my top five reasons why friend-zoned best friends make the best partners.
1. They are already your favorite person to hang out with.
This makes dating so much better. Instead of struggling to find common interests and settling for Netflix and going out for dinner every time it comes to date night, you will have a much easier time finding things to do. Do you both love hiking? Reading books? Kayaking? Skating? Having common interests is actually a key part of any relationship. When the lust and other feelings start to dissipate in a few years, your common interests mean that you still love hanging out and just being together. If you and your best friend already love doing things together, this will establish a great relationship that can last a lifetime.
2. Skip the awkwardness and trying to pretend you’re perfect!
Imagine not having the awkwardness of having to eat a over-the-top burger, chicken wings, spaghetti, or even a leafy salad in front of them. Or how about if they already know how you look without makeup. Part of the luxury of dating your best friend means that you’ve already seen them at the worst and their best. There’s less pressure and tension to keep up an image of yourself you think they’ll like—they already know and see the real you!
3. You already love their family and are comfortable with them.
This one is a huge WIN. In-laws can be tricky, so dating someone whose parents you already know, trust, and respect is amazing. This way, there is no trying to break down barriers built up by previous significant others. Think about Christmas day in the future. Are you going to dread having to spend it with your best friend’s parents, or does that seem like fun? Do you know what their traditions are? It may be a little too far down the road for now, but if you want kids one day, this will largely impact that process. If you loved having their parents in your life and know they would be great-in-laws and grandparents, you are going to save yourself A LOT of stress in the future.
4. You trust them.
This one is probably the most important. You don’t have to try and break down their walls, or wonder if you’re seeing their true self. Instead, you likely already know not only their strengths, but their weaknesses. Being aware of each other’s weaknesses is key to addressing them and being able to work through them together. If you trust them with your past and that they won’t abuse or lie to you, you can let go of any toxicity. How do they treat other people? Their family? Do they tip after a meal? If you know who they are and have established a strong sense of trust, you will be set up for a healthy relationship. In an age of Tinder and Hinge, this is a huge luxury to know right at the forefront that you can trust them with your heart. And they can trust you too!
5. You already love them.
I lied, this one is the most important reason. If you are best friends, then chances are you already love them—in some capacity. Maybe at this point that person still just feels too much like a brother or sister to you. But eventually, if feelings start to shift, you may come to realize that that sense of familiarity to them is not sibling-like—it’s real love. If you feel a sense of deep connection, if you care for them and love them, this is a major clue you might have some hidden feelings.
Of course, you cannot force yourself to fall for somebody if the feelings aren’t there. But if you find yourself fighting the possibility that there could be something there, this is your sign to give it a chance! They might just be the best life partner you could have ever asked for. Even if you feel certain they will always be nothing more than a friend, take a minute and think about what your future would look like and if that seems exciting. Who knows!