When you get dumped, no matter what the initiator says, you’re going to be some combination of mad/sad/confused/hurt. Couples break up for an infinite number of reasons. However, sometimes the dumped feels like the dumper is throwing out some reeeeeally dumb lines. These are a few things (that in some cases are legitimate but in other cases complete bull$#*%) that make it hurt.
1. “It’s not what I want, it’s what’s good for me.”
Yeah but… but what about what’s good for me? I do not feel like this is good for me. And it’s definitely not what I want. Does that mean I’m bad for you? Why don’t I get a say in this? Selfish.
2. “It’s all my fault.”
You better believe it is.
3. “I still love you.”
Oh thank god! Just what I wanted to hear. Such a relief. That makes it all completely better. Now tell me again why you’re breaking up with me?
4. “We’ll still be friends.”
Hmmmm we’ll see about that one.
5. “This is harder for me than it is for you.”
I beg to differ. Since you ended it, you must be under the impression that a future without me is better than a future with me. You see a light at the end of the tunnel. I, on the other hand, see a large black hole, and deep in this abyss is a future that involves me with numerous cats.
6. “I can’t give you what you want.”
But here’s the thing, I really just want you. (This one is the least offensive in my opinion because given some distance after the breakup, with some pondering and self-realization, you could realize this to be true. Or not.)
7. “You’ll understand someday.”
Haha ok no. I get the intent behind this one, but I’m not five. Please don’t treat me like a child.
Even if in the long run, you know this is the best option for both of you, it’s still hard. And if you just got dumped, you get a post breakup pass where you can whine a lot, eat a lot, not eat at all, or sit on the ground of a bar bathroom hugging the toilet and bawling. However, don’t abuse this too much – although not concrete, an expiration date does exist. Do what you gotta do.