It’s like, if someone you’re interested in doesn’t text you 124024390940 times a day, he (or she) must not like you, right? Wrong. The first question my best friend asked me about a new guy I met was, ‘is he a good texter?’ And no, he’s not. At first I was like WTF dude, get your shit together. Now that I know him I’m like, okay cool, you aren’t on your phone 24/7 and it’s not an extension of your arm. I can get down with that.
Also, stop going all CSI on every text from a potential love interest. “But what do you think this meansssssss?” Um, maybe, “Do you want to hang out on Saturday?” means exactly that. Textualism, people.
I have become an advocate of being a little selfish. So your BFF is mad that it’s Wednesday and you didn’t wear pink so now YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US! Ef that. When other people get offended by you just doing you that’s their business. Stop feeling guilty. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. Truth.
3. The pressure to be in a relationship/get married
Dear everyone, no my life does not depend on being tied to another person. At 24, I don’t feel the need to rush into the arms of whoever will have me. It seems like a lot of people are of the mindset that if they find someone half-decent that doesn’t piss them off too much, they should hold onto that person for dear life and force them to Put A Ring On It. This often ends in a miserable and/or failed relationship. No thanks. Fools rush in, amirite??
Ladies, wine has been around 4eva. Even Yeezus drank wine. Wait, I mean Jesus. (OMG Kardashians, GTFO of my head!) Stop posting on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram about how much of a wino you are. Really, your eight dollar bottle of merlot is like, soooo delish?? You drink cheap wine so often that you’re pretty much a sommelier. Cools. Pass me a beer.
5. Breaking Bad/Game of Thrones/(insert tv show with cult following here)
Okay, I love tv shows too. I’ve even been known to keep a list of shows I need to watch for the week. (This was in college, don’t hate). But puh-lease don’t gasp when I tell you I don’t watch a certain show. Don’t pressure me to join your circle of Walter White worshippers. Do I push my television views on you? Okay, maybe sometimes. But Friday Night Lights really is the Best Show Ever. Srsly, you should watch it. When I grow up I want to be just like Tami Taylor. But really, let’s not treat tv shows like religion m’kay? I’ll watch what I want, and you watch what you want and we can all be friends.
6. Big Brother 15
Jokes. It’s a train wreck and I LOVE IT.