I don’t understand why people consciously go out and about, looking for love.
Falling in love with someone is the worst thing that could happen to you.
Think about it. You meet someone, some random person, and all of a sudden they are your whole life. You don’t really get a say in who you fall for. It could be anyone: your boss, a coworker, or the barista at Starbucks. You don’t even have to mutually compatible. You might be wildly different; horrible for each other, star crossed and crossed again and yet, you love them, so you’re essentially stuck with them, forever. Even if you end things, or even never start dating in the first place, when you love someone, I mean really, really love them, they’re in your (idiotic) heart forever.
When you fall in love, all your emotions are instantly cranked up to eleven. Who has time for that? I cry over Youtube videos of kittens on my best days, I’m essentially already an emotional train wreck. Adding love to the mix doesn’t do anyone any favors.
Do you ever meet someone and realize that no matter what, this person is going to have a huge, amazing, life changing impact on you? I hate that. That feeling is the worst. When someone walks into the room and you see them for the first time and your heart leaps into your throat, you should just walk away. Pull a Nancy Reagan and Just Say No. Love is worse than drugs, because at least AA exists and there’s the possibility of rehab. There’s no real therapy for the kind of crazy love bring out in people.
I recently had the horrible experience of falling in love when I was abroad in Australia. It was f*cking magical.
The first time I saw him, I was sitting at my friends kitchen table, stuffing my face with falafel, my hair dripping wet from the rain storm I had just trudged through. He walked in the room, and I almost choked on my lettuce and died right there. When he walked in that room, it was game over for me. As we talked that night, and realized how much we had in common, and how much we didn’t, I knew, I just knew, that this boy was going to change my life. And I absolutely hated it. How unfair that I should find him in a place so far from home, where I only had five short months. How unfair that of all the seven billion people in the world, that this one, this untouchable distant boy should be the one that I needed so badly?
But love is like that. It will take all your crazy and multiply it by a thousand. It will make you better, stronger, more capable of handling things you didn’t know you could. And all the pain, all the suffering and loss and tears and time that will be wasted, well, love tricks you into thinking it was all worth it, in the end, for those shirt brilliant shining moments.
So when you wake up alone, after dreaming of them yet again, remember how you chose not to walk away. You succumbed to love, you let it win. And you would do it again. You would.