Oh, the world of reality television. Most of my friends are hooked on one or the other, chatting with friends via social media about each member of the show. Quiz results and various interviews are shared on Facebook and Twitter while these quasi celebrities prance through life without actually having done anything of some sort of importance. These people are judged harder than any celebrity for literally doing nothing.
Television shows can be seen as a window to a person’s soul. Friendships can be made or broken depending on what a person’s favorite reality TV shows are.
Although these characters can be relatable to many a teen mom in our society, chances are most of you that are watching these shows and spin-offs for the pure enjoyment of a train wreck. You are most likely loyal followers of 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, and Teen Mom 2 (just to name a few) and have never had an actual run-in with almost getting pregnant or getting pregnant at a young age. Most of you still think getting pregnant is a solid plan in order to keep your boyfriends around for another couple of years. Most people can find you in or around a Dunkin Donuts, in a Forever 21, or following the whole “shaving half your hair off” trend.
Most of these wannabe party goers are actually just turning up on a Thursday night with themselves while they position their selfies to look like they’re already drunk and ready to party. Sigh. You are most likely wearing sunglasses at night, not Italian whatsoever, and suffer from a case of a terrible eyebrow-waxing job. We all know that you aren’t going out tonight, and you aren’t popping bottles at the club. The words “smush” and “tank” are locked into your vocabulary.
Where to begin? You are without a doubt glued to a TV with a glass of Flip Flop Pinot Grigio and a twitter feed on constant refresh. You spend your entire communication class the next day talking shit on the last contestant who wasn’t given a rose and her hideous choices of dresses, while sitting in the back row in fleece lined leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. You live vicariously through these girls, while secretly wishing that the bachelor would reach through the TV and choose you to move on to the next round. You enjoy long walks on the beach, terrible displays of love and affection, and will without a doubt be in a non-committed relationship until your late 30’s.
Say Yes To the Dress
While sitting on your couch with your non-committal boyfriend, you gasp and sigh over the thought of wearing any one of the dresses shown on the show. You drop hints as your boyfriend scrolls through his Facebook feed as you Instagram all of your photos with the hashtag, “Blessed.” You absolutely loooove wearing winged eyeliner and can’t imagine your life without your cats.
Keeping Up With Every Kardashian Spinoff
No matter the time of day, it’s always time for a Kardashian marathon. As you sit on your floor with your expensive Lululemon workout gear on and attempt to do a “work-out,” you slowly decide that if you squat for 45 minutes, your ass will in fact look like Kim’s. Your number one app on your phone is Kim’s app, and you are undoubtedly already an A-list star. Most people can find you laying around your house, pulling terribly inappropriate pranks on your family (Looking at you Khloe lovers) and closely following Kylie Jenner’s fashion kareer.