I Double-Tapped My Ex’s Instagram Pic From 63 Weeks Ago And This Is What Happened

istockphoto.com / Clayton Rohner
istockphoto.com / Clayton Rohner

As we all know, social media is like rapid fire that can’t be stopped or a bad case of super gonorrhea that you can’t get rid of.

Social media can easily ruin relationships, “Who’s that girl you posted a picture with?!” Only later to find out it was your boyfriend’s cousin, #cousinlove, should of paid closer attention to those hashtags. Or these conversations, “OMG you’ll never guess who’s back together!” All is eventually revealed on Instagram.

We communicate by liking photos, “Guess who liked my picture, do you think I should text him?!” or “Why would he like my picture he hates flowers.” Then there’s that feeling you get when you accidentally like a photo or when you almost liked a photo. And if time and skill allows, you can find yourself browsing through your crush’s ex-girlfriend’s sister’s friend’s mother-in-law’s second cousin’s aunt’s trip her and her family went on to the Bahamas back in 2007.

We are all connected through social media, even if you come across a private account, if you try hard enough you will find away in. And honestly, I think we are too connected.

I went into a client meeting the other day and I said to one of the women we are working with, “Oh you used to work at Brookline.” It wasn’t even apparent to me that that might have been weird I knew that, but her LinkedIn profile said it was her previous job. Sorry for being prepared or creepy, same difference.

I was on a road trip last summer to B.C. to go house boating and I was sitting in the back seat minding my own business scrolling through the Instagram page of a guy I dated. So we’re driving along and suddenly we go over a bump and I lost control of my hand to phone placement and yes, double tapped a photo…from 63 weeks ago.

My stomach dropped, I started sweating, how was I going to explain myself! Here are the steps to liking a photo from 63 weeks ago: delete Instagram, set phone on fire, become the first person to live underwater. I started to try and think of these elaborate stories to justify my wrongdoings. Oh someone had my phone or whoops guess I pocket tapped you or someone’s playing a prank on you and ME!

I called my best friend panicking asking her to help me, but what was she going to do? Call him and be like, “Kitty liked one of your photos from 63 weeks ago but actually it was me playing a joke”…I was screwed.

I decided to get off Instagram. I put my phone away and scavenged for a beer in the back cooler and then I hear “ting ting” my phone received a message, it was him. Shit shit shit! I carefully opened the message (what’s the point of being careful now!) and his message reads, “Whatcha doin?”

My best friend told me to lie, like any best friend would, but I choose to own it. In life I think we are all a little shitty, obviously make mistakes and have done things we may or may not regret (#noragrets). So if you’re caught doing something shitty or have had a not so great moment, don’t lie, have integrity and own it.

I sucked it up and said, “I’m not going to lie to you, I was in over my head, too deep and yes liked your photo from 63 weeks ago and yes I did try and cover it up by un-liking it.” He sent me a message back laughing and all was good.

What’s really fun to do on Instagram is like every picture on your friend or boyfriend or girlfriend’s Instagram so when he or she opens it shows 327 likes. Go mess around on social media, screen shot Snapchats, like photos from 63 weeks ago, comment on Facebook albums from trips to the Bahamas of ’07 of people you don’t know but slept with their nephew.

See what happens, get in there, mix it up; get your weird on. In a culture where we are encouraged to be on social media and shamed for when we are not. I think we shouldn’t be afraid to openly say, “I creeped on your page,” because the thing is, they probably have creeped you too! You can’t go through life making sure you are not double tapping photos, that’s too much pressure and you’ll be missing all the anxiety-ridden fun! Life’s too short anyways. TC mark

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