It’s okay that 2019 hasn’t been your best year yet.
As the New Year comes into view, we’re bombarded with posts on our Instagram feeds with captions reiterating how 2019 was seemingly everyone’s best year yet.
I am tired of feeling like an anomaly for saying that honestly, 2019 wasn’t my year. I know there must be other people who feel like they definitely have had better years. I can find moments of gratitude, of course, when I put 2019 in review.
I finally moved on from a broken heart. Career-wise, I had the opportunity to work on some projects that really inspired me, gaining invaluable insight into different industries, which I loved. I also made new friends that made my days a lot cheerier. I moved apartments again after moving to LA two years ago, albeit into a different room in the same building that’s cheaper to rent.
However, in retrospect, I also had some disproportionately unhappy moments. I sustained unfavorable relationships, guy-wise and friend-wise. I worked several jobs that I vehemently disliked, in which I didn’t feel inspired or valued for my performance. I couldn’t finish projects that I wanted to bring to fruition. Painfully, I ended friendships with people I adored, because they were becoming toxic for me. I thought I had made strides in my mental health at the beginning of 2019, only to find that I was slipping back into unhealthy habits, which I need to address again in the coming year. In between pockets of gratitude and clarity, I observe spaces in which I felt generally confused in my pursuits of happiness, financially and relationship-wise.
Therefore, I want to remind everyone that it’s okay if this wasn’t your best year yet. To the people who did absolutely rock 2019, I’m genuinely happy for you. To those who also felt they struggled this past year, I hear you. Constant comparison is one of the gravest pitfalls of this social media culture we live in nowadays. We see ourselves in relation to our perception of others’ successes. We build self-esteem based on the need for approval. We see others get likes and comments on photos of their new apartments and awesome careers and feel deficient in comparison. We’re caught chasing a happiness that is based on comparison and validation, and is thus inherently ephemeral.
Let this be a reminder that not everyone is having the best year of their lives, even if it looks like it on social media. At the end of 2019, we need to be patient with ourselves. If you had a bad year, just know that you are not an anomaly. On a positive note, the good news is that next year, there is only room for improvement. Cheers to 2020.