In Defense Of Beards

There are a few little things you can do in a relationship that let your significant other know you care. You can watch his favorite TV show at least three times (to give it a fair chance), you can read his blog or his writing/ listen to his band even if his style doesn’t mesh with your tastes and you can let him be as enthusiastic as he wants while he grows his facial hair. Here are five reasons you should let him grow his beard.

1. It makes him happy

Many guys are just really stoked about their facial hair. They’ll sit around with their buddies and discuss the merits of beards, trimming techniques and styles. I can’t really explain it, but it’s something they just like. I’ve been told by friends that growing facial hair is a rite of passage for a young man; it’s something he should try at least once to decide if it’s right for him.

And boys do love their beards; they like how they can get away without shaving (no risk of five o’clock shadow when you’re sporting the full deal); they like to stroke it and feel slightly more intelligent; they like how it looks on their face, making them feel more rugged or manly. They can also appreciate the practicality of a beard, using it to scratch itches on their shoulders and arms (built in chin-pad) or to store food for the winter within the furry confines of their face.

2. No one likes a controlling bitch

This is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received (granted, it was when I was working with a group on a writing project, but the words are still relevant).

Let’s be straight: You are in no position to demand anything from him regarding his looks. He’s a separate entity (whether your friends have given you a ‘Brangelina’ style couple name or not) and the two of you are not an amorphous couple-y blob. His face is his business. You should not withhold affection in order to manipulate him into shaving. You should not insult his bearded looks and expect his feelings to remain unhurt. If you’re at all convinced of the contrary, you’re psychotic. Seek medication.

If he’s the man you want to spend time with, you should support his endeavors the way you’d want him to support yours. If that endeavor is “No Shave November” or some sort of strange attempt to become Grizzly Adams, so be it.

Besides, how cuddly and loveable will you feel when he begrudgingly takes to the razor? He probably won’t be happy about it and you may even feel guilty about his (albeit small) sacrifice.

You wouldn’t want him telling you how to wear your hair or clothes, so you have no right to tell him he needs to shave.

3. It makes him look like Chuck Norris

Did you know that under Chuck Norris’s beard is another fist? Did you? Go watch Walker, Texas Ranger for the next few hours and don’t come back until you understand this phenomenon. I’ll wait. Go.

4. Bearded kisses. Nuff said

Few things in this world feel as wonderfully tickly and scratchy as a bearded kiss. If you haven’t tried it, go find yourself a beard. They’re wonderful. The survival of the beard could prove to be less of a self-less act if you open your heart to the stubbly, scratch-tastic wonders of beard nuzzling. Giving it a chance could open your mind up to a totally new (and totally hot) look.

5. Ultimately, it’s his choice

There are numerous reasons your man has decided to grow a beard: he’s getting in touch with nature, he’s participating in No Shave November, he felt emasculated by all the other boys and their beards, he got lazy and decided shaving was less important than sleep. None of them matter much anyway.

In the end, his beard is his business. He’ll shave or he won’t.

If you can’t learn to love his whiskered ways, you can mention it in passing (an “ouch! That’s scratchy” will almost never fail), but incessant nagging and insulting matches are never fun for anyone as they plant the seeds of future passive aggression and seldom lead to cuddling. There are some things in life that are worth bitching about, but your man’s facial hair choices are simply not one of them. TC mark


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  • hunter ray


  • Anonymous

    who hates beards???? I love me a nice bushy/thick beard. Super sexy.

  • anon

    It’s easy for you to say. I kiss my boyfriend and get beard burn on my cheeks. 

    • Anonymous

      That is a downfall.

  • Joel

    I for one second thought this may not be a list article. Shit.

  • ushdugery

  • kaylee

    stopped reading at “nuff said”

  • Anonymous

  • Guest

    This is too cute, I loved it.

  • Rahul D Souza

    I grow a beard because I look like a baby without one!

  • nak

    It’s unforch that Chuck Norris is such an ass irl

    • Kat

      Shit. That’s like finding out Santa isn’t real or that the Bowflex is a scam.

  • Alex

    “You wouldn’t want him telling you how to wear your hair or clothes, so you have no right to tell him he needs to shave.”

    EXACTLY THIS!  People are always like, “Why do you let [husband] grow his beard so long?”  !!!!  It leaves me speechless.   “Let”?   Really?  I’m pretty sure he’s his own person and can do whatever he wants.  Just like I can not shave my legs for months on end and not expect to hear a peep from him.

  • Laurens Verdonkschot

  • Anonymous

    I’m with nataliekeshlear….loooooooooooove beards!

  • Duke Holland of Gishmale

    This was almost funny. 

  • Scytle

    you left out the fact that getting up every day and scraping a razor over your face hurts, and takes a long time (and no I don’t expect women to do it either).

    I grow a beard because I am lazy, and have sensitive face skin, also because I look like I am 12 without one.  But glad to see there are some ladies that like them as well.

  • Mr Shankly

    ‘In Defense Of Beards’? I’m gonna have to sit on defence for this one.

  • Mr Shankly

    ‘In Defense Of Beards’? I’m gonna have to sit on defence for this one.

  • Jocelyn

    i encourage all men to grow beards simply because beards are fucking sexy.

  • Jocelyn

    i encourage all men to grow beards simply because beards are fucking sexy.

  • Kyle Angeletti

    Just for the record, it’s not ‘No Shave November’, it’s Movember ( I’ve worn a beard for the past 4 years and it’s the only time of the year I do shave my face – while leaving a sweet ‘stache. 

    Others will participate in ‘Decembeard’ but it’s not for charity or anything. Otherwise, yeah – beards fucking rock. 

  • es

    this could have been a sentence. “beards fucking rule” 

  • Catt

    So many semi-colons; I don’t think you needed to use that many.

  • Greg Petliski

    As the official photographer of the 2010 NYC Beard & Mustache Competition I can put my stamp of approval on this wonderful article. Thank you.

  • mbs37

    beard rash. between the legs. all i got.

  • itsme_eloise

    mmmm yes beard kisses. especially when it’s really grown in but still neat so there’s some tuft to cushion the kiss but not scraggly/face-tickle inducing. love love love.

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