I Am Still

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It’s been about a year,
since the last time i was able to lay
in silence.
With someone other then myself.
Without my mind racing
and my hands shaking.
My head still
my heart beating fast.
I could nearly hear it
over the subway rails and
honking taxi’s outside
the hotel window.

As i lay in silence
reading the writing
on his back,
I ask myself, ‘why now?’
There was a comfort
in being with him.
But excitement too.
An odd sense
of being so comfortable yet
so painfully shy all at once.

I sat listening
our heart beats echoing off the walls.
And suddenly all at once,
my eyes shut,
my mind stops,
He turns his body.
reaches back to grab my hand
and i am still. TC mark

featured image – ▲ r n o

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