1. Showing us what we want.
Regardless of the outcome of the relationship, or how big of a jerk a former flame may have been each ex teaches us a little something about what it is we want. Whether it was your instant attraction to their confidence or the way they always ordered for you at dinner, it may be as simple as the way they held your hand. None the less even from the worst relationship we walk away a little bit clearer on what it is we are looking for in our next.
2. Showing us what we don’t want.
Just like the worst of relationships can teach us what we do want, even the best of relationships can show us what we don’t want. Granted we will never find perfection, but past relationships shows us where out tolerance ends, which pesky habits we can shrug off and what traits are clear deal breakers.
3. The things we keep, like socks.
Trust me on this one. While I am a firm believer in the post break up purge (ridding your draws of all items that belongs to the enemy), there is one thing I can never find myself able to part with. Socks. Men’s dress socks blow any women’s “boot sock” out of the water, they are light and tight they stay up and don’t itch and their every day socks are typically those cool dry fit ones that you would never find yourself buying but over all improve your day. And please do not forget about the one pair of over sized knee high wool knitted socks that you stole the one time it was just a bit too chilly, they are warm feet hugs. Be grateful.
4. Opportunity on both ends of the spectrum.
While in the moment it may be hard to comprehend, each break up is a blessing that propels us into a sea of opportunity. As happy as you may have been, relationships are constricting. We second guess taking chances wondering how it may impact our lover, we lack the motivation to seek new ventures and we close our doors to all prospects that are batting their eyes and waiting patiently on the sideline. He may not of been right for you, but thank him are walking away and giving the one an opportunity to walk in. On the flip side we must also look back and appreciate the opportunity we were given. More and more we hear of the pain and agony behind the “almost break up” you know the one that follows the “almost relationship” with that one guy you still can’t close the book on because the opportunity was never there.
5. The clarity to see things for what they actually are.
Relationships are like allergies, they put us in this fog, this false sense of security where we find it a little too easy to avoid problems and pretend we are happy. Break ups are like seeing clearly now that the rain is gone, we find ourselves snapping back into a sense of reality, realizing that you are not ok with those 20 pounds you put on and living pay check to pay check just for the sake of living with a significant other is not smart. We realize the status quo is not how we want to live.
6. Giving us our lives back.
We all lose ourselves in relationships, some more than other and all in different ways. We are all guilty of pushing off that yoga class week after week just because Wednesday nights is always date night. We don’t think twice about that awesome job opportunity in California because they thought of move cross country without Boo would make you miserable. We skip on that Friday night out with the girls, because what is the point, right? Break ups bitch slap us with motivation, it gives us that extra energy to try out kick boxing and helps us muster up the courage to approach that cute guy at the mall. There is something liberating about having no one else to live for but ourselves, our lives become ours again without another individual to take in account, no one to answer to but ourselves.
7. Time we otherwise wouldn’t get back.
More time than not, the initial break up reaction is “I can’t believe he wasted x amount of years” we sob over the fact that we have been robbed of valuable time that could have been spent with Mr. Right. We forget that this person gave us their time, they have given us x amount of years of their own lives and will never get that time back. We forget to put things in perspective, while 2 years of our lives might have been wasted, by making the decision to walk away they are saving our time. They are saving us the death bed regrets and mid life crisis of a divorced single mom because some jack ass didn’t have the balls to walk away at 23 when he really knew it would never work out.
8. All of the memories.
At first, memories will be that salt in your wound and the knife in your back; but years down the road you will look back and laugh at the night you drank way too much and shared a dominos pizza in bed. You will drive past that old street sign, the one where your middle school love leaned in and gave you your first kiss. As much as we would like to forget these haunting moments we can’t because they have shaped us, each memory regardless of how minuscule has lead us to where we are today. Look back and smile.