The Kinkiest Thing He’ll Do To You In Bed, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Thought.is

I know what some of you are thinking. “Zodiac signs don’t mean shit!” Relax, kiddos. This is just for fun – although you may find it chillingly accurate. And who knows? You may even get some kinky ideas, “based on your (or his) sign.” So listen up and take some notes. Here are the naughtiest things he’ll do to you (or you can ask him to do) based on his sign…or his blood type. Whatever floats your boat.  

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Aries boyfriends have a fiery, bold streak and love to be spontaneous. These are the types that would suggest sex in public or buy you vibrating panties to wear to dinner. They would enjoy watching you please yourself and get off. They may even videotape it to jerk off to it later.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

A Taurus loves earthly pleasures, so it’s no surprise that he would love to combine his two greatest delights: sex and food. He is likely to seduce you by bringing you breakfast in bed, followed by licking Nutella off your tits and going down on you. For this sign, there’s nothing better than combining the savory and the sweet. He’ll eat you out while you guys are eating in.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Geminis are excellent conversationalists and their dirty talk would be on a whole new level. He’ll create elaborate scenarios that allows you both to inhabit new, exciting identities. Before you know it, you’re suddenly roleplaying being the naughty babysitter that fucks him on the weekends while his wife is away.  The wife joins in later, of course.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Cancers enjoy teamwork and communal activities – which make them ideal candidates for threesomes or orgies. They’re likely to take you to an underground sex club to let loose and show off their exhibitionistic side. Nothing like a room full of people enjoying themselves to promote a sense of community!

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Leos love to dominate in every facet of their lives and the bedroom is no exception. BDSM roleplay could be an interesting way for them to both exert control and lose it. They’ll enjoy administering all the spankings you’re deserving of, pulling your hair hard and hearing you call them “Daddy” as you come.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgos thrive on being control and they also tend to be perfectionistic neat freaks. They would likely play the dominatrix to your submissive, punishing you for failing to wash the dishes or folding the laundry correctly. Oh, and they’ll keep a bottle of hand sanitizer on the nightstand the whole time – just in case there’s a mess.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libras are peacemakers in life and it’s easy to see them being a tad more submissive in bed – at least initially. They would enjoy being handcuffed, blindfolded and possibly even cuckolded. Watching you get off with a more “dominant” man would turn them on but also bring out their protective and aggressive side. They may just have to take back control and show everyone who’s boss.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

These fearless, ambitious and power-hungry types tend to be very competitive – whether in the boardroom or the bedroom. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself role-playing an elaborate corporate fantasy of being bent over a desk and fucked clandestinely during working hours. Their ambition knows no bounds.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Good god, what isn’t Sagittarius into? You’ll likely find these “explorers” wanting to try everything and anything in one lovemaking session. You’ll find yourself taking it in the ass, trying a position you never even thought existed and making your very first sex tape. Being with a Sagittarius is a smorgasboard of surprises and will leave memories that will last a lifetime (literally, though, he’ll have that video uploaded to Cloud before you know it).

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Capricorns are more conservative types and need to plan out everything to a tee in the bedroom, even their most kinkiest acts. The fun will be in the “scheduling.” He’ll text you a time, a date and place to give you the details on when, where and how he plans to screw you senseless. The anticipation is what will make it hotter – and you’ve got to give him props for his organizational skills.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Aquarius boyfriends are down to try anything and everything. As natural-born experimenters who are constantly thinking outside of the box, they have a serious intellectual streak that can ironically serve them well in bed. Don’t be shocked if, following a heated philosophical debate, you find yourself pinned down to the bed and spanked with abandon for disagreeing with them. They get off on both verbal and physical foreplay. And they may just ask you to address them as “Sir” or “Professor” while you’re moaning.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Pisces men are sensitive lovers and are always eager to please. That means they’ll do whatever freaky thing turns you on – whether it be eating your ass or allowing themselves to be pegged. Don’t underestimate these types – their willingness to please you can lead to a whole lot of kinky fun. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

Get Thought Catalog’s once-a-week email and never miss a story!

Every Friday we collect our absolute best stories, quotes and photos from the week and put them into a single email. It makes for perfect weekend reading material or easy catch up on our best stories.

Click here to join the list!
The Kinkiest Thing He’ll Do To You In Bed, Based On His Zodiac Sign is cataloged in , , , , , , ,