I Accidentally Fell in Love With You

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I can’t tell you exactly when it happened. I can’t tell you why my feelings for you suddenly changed. I can’t tell you how we went from being casual acquaintances, to being this. What I can tell you is that right now, I love you. In every possible way a person could love someone, I love you. Stronger and more passionately than any romance I’ve ever known, I love you — and I’m sorry for that.

Why is it that two people who fit together so effortlessly, can never manage to come together at the right time? When we first met, I was in a relationship. You and I became friends, and I was happy being just your friend. I didn’t know you felt something more.  I’m sorry for leaning on you when my relationship came to an end. I’m sorry I ever convinced you that our casual romance was just that, and nothing more. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize my feelings for you. Most of all, I’m sorry that I ended up being too late.

Why was I such a fool? Keeping our casual fling going for as long as I did. I didn’t want to move on. I didn’t want to believe that you had moved on. You made it perfectly clear that you are not interested in a relationship, but I can’t help but wonder. Is it that you are not interested in a relationship? Or simply, that you are not interested in a relationship with me.

I was secretly hoping my life, this situation, would end differently. An ending only imaginable on a big screen. We would see each other again and things would simply fall into place. It would be the right time, for both of us, and the feelings that we both once had for one another would return. It would be like they never left, but rather they were hidden away for a while. Waiting for us both to be ready.

I can’t sit around and wait for that fantasy to come true. I can’t keep reliving every moment we shared together, analyzing the things that I did wrong; the things I would have changed. I want to be happy. I want you to be happy. If that means us finally being together, and ignoring this idea of there ever really being a right time. Then please, let’s just start now. But if it means letting go, then I’ll let go.

I’m sorry that during our friendship, our battles through unrequited emotions, and impossibly bad timings, that I accidentally fell in love with you. TC Mark

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