1. When you go into the dining hall (singular; who needs more than one anyway?), you’ll definitely see a friend or twenty… and last weekend’s awkward hook-up… and that guy you drunk confessed your love to last night… and your psych professor having lunch with him.
2. Classes are super small, which means the professor actually knows your name, not a number. Too bad that means he or she notices when you’ve skipped… and emails to make sure you’re okay. “Yeah, Professor, I was just, umm, sick.” *cough, cough*
3. Parties aren’t exclusive at all. As long as you’re a girl. An attractive girl. An attractive, freshman girl.
4. Everyone is super open-minded. As long as you think exactly like them.
5. It’s easy to get dressed in the morning. As long as you dress exactly like everyone else.
6. The walk from one side of campus to the other is roughly 13 minutes. A walk longer than that results in complaints. But hey, it is only 3 degrees, so you’re warranted.
7. Sports don’t rule the scene, and athletes aren’t the gods of campus. There are so many different, art-related campus events, and everyone goes to support. Probably because the sports are Division III, and a golden retriever could make the football team. (“Did you go to the basketball game last night?” “No, the [name an a capella group] was performing, so I went to that.” Overheard on campus.)
8. You’ve probably already met your future spouse.
9. The security guards send their kids to the charity basketball class your team runs, so they turn the other cheek when they catch you 3 hours later, beer in hand.
10. You come out four years later with amazing, lifelong friends and a top-notch education. A liberal arts degree, but, hey, you sure did learn a lot.