This won’t be easy to write. I already know that. But I’m going to try anyway because I feel like everyone could benefit from feeling like there is someone just as beautifully confused as they are in this crazy world of mixed feelings, bright lights and wandering souls.
It’s crazy, isn’t it? How we can all look back and remember specific moments of our early lives, whether they are good or bad, but we can’t recall becoming the people we are today? All we scientifically know is that we are made of chemicals that are the building blocks of what we are, and that our souls are written in the form of a genetic code that can supposedly be copied and reproduced. We also know that in the grand scheme of the universe, in a place where stars are exploding and new worlds are churning and there is a birth of a brand new place every single second, we are awfully tiny. I bet that makes you feel insignificant, doesn’t it? Thinking that we are nothing but a spec of dust in the mansion that is the universe.
Well, I may be a nobody to you (even though I probably just made you feel like a nobody to the universe, but I promise I’ll address that), but I wanted to get your attention, if only for a paragraph or two. But how will I be able to connect with you, someone I’ve never met and probably never will who has most likely had experiences in this world much different from mine? I feel like this is the ultimate quest that all writers are trying to complete, and I’m going to throw myself in headfirst.
We all want to know why we’re here. One day, we all wake up and realize that we really don’t know what to do with ourselves but that we have no choice but to make the best of our time here. We try to understand as much as we can and we go about our days just trying to make it to the next one. It’s a universal truth that sounds ridiculously boring but is actually quite true when you think about the logistics of it.
Well, my new friend who I may or may not have met, in a part of the world that I may or may not have seen before, I bet you’re lucky. I bet you’ve seen something I haven’t or experienced something that would make me a better, stronger person. I envy you for that, and I don’t even know you. Maybe you consider yourself a lucky person and maybe you don’t, but I think getting the chance to experience things, whether they are the best or worst things that could ever happen to a person, is the luckiest thing ever.
Maybe you got the chance to fall in love. I hope you got to experience that. The feeling of connecting with another person on a level unknown to most, much like I’m trying to achieve now. Even though you probably think that dating someone or making a commitment to another person is just a social norm and that it always ends the same, I just want to remind you that every love is different. If everyone in the world were to write books about their great loves, they would all be different stories. Remember that. The tingles you felt when you held someone’s hand for the first time felt different to you than they did to someone else. And that makes you lucky because you got to feel something that someone else didn’t.
But maybe you got hurt. So hurt that even reading this is bringing back memories so severe that you cannot continue on. I respect that. Because I respect you and whatever you’ve been through. No matter how many nights you’ve spent crying in the darkest place you can find or dealing with the physical pain that so often goes along with the emotional kind, just know that I’ve thought about you. I’ve looked up at the stars and wondered who out there had to feel something that horrible that they wished they weren’t themselves. Maybe you think other people who didn’t have to go through that were lucky. But you got to feel something. I don’t know what that specific “something” felt like, but you got to feel a twinge deep inside you.
Isn’t that a beautiful reminder that you’re alive?
That the stardust that you are made of is still there, sparkling within your soul?
I want you to know something. No matter who you are, or what you stand for, or what you have been through, or if you’ve fallen in love and smiled until your cheeks hurt, or if you’ve fallen so deep inside a dark hole that you’re still trying to find your way out, I want you to know something. And you don’t have to follow anything I’m saying right now because I know that I’m also just a spec of dust that contains an unfortunately opinionated mind.
But please know that your thoughts are everything. They are you. They cannot be erased, deleted or deemed unimportant, because your thoughts may be biological products of the elements of the universe, but they are also everything that you are and everything that you’ve ever been through, no matter where on this planet you lie. When your world is left blank, your thoughts will color your mind. They are what make you significant. They make the theoretical spec of dust that we all are glow just a little bit.
And I want you to know, whether or not I know you, or anything about you, that your thoughts are exquisite. And every electrical impulse of your brain and every movement of your muscles and every pain you feel in your bones is beautiful. You are the universe, after all. The universe is you.
Do the best you can with the time you’ve been given, my friend. I’d like to hear about it someday.