Every few months in my life, as well as many others’ I’m sure, I begin to feel incredibly monotonous and bored. Every day turns into the same routine from beginning to end, and unfortunately, getting yourself out of a rut can be difficult. I’ve also been going through personal struggles in the ‘love’ department, which has me feeling more tired and unmotivated than anything.
But lately I’ve also been on Pinterest looking at the typical Christmas DIY’s and apartment redecorating ideas. The other day I stumbled upon my old inspirational quote board. Being as though I’d completely forgotten about it, I decided to scroll through, and within the pins, I read quote after quote about moving on and building self-confidence. Then I came across this one from Maya Angelou.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Now I’m trying my absolute hardest to come up with a way to describe the feeling I had after reading this quote in the least cheesy and cliché way that I possibly can, and to put it simply, it was eye-opening.
They say that the actions of others are much more important than the words that come out of their mouths. While I definitely believe this to be true, I whole heartedly understand that how they make you feel is even more so. On the other hand, I am also aware that I am stubborn to a fault, and for the most part, the only person that I listen to is me. Because of this, it only makes sense that I am blind to how someone makes me feel when I am telling myself that they are good to me.
If every night I am going to sleep with a heavy heart and an uneasiness in my stomach, it really doesn’t matter that I have a text on my phone with the words, “I love you.”
It’s a scary thought that the man who takes up so much of the thoughts in your brain every single day hasn’t thought about you in two weeks. Or that while you hopelessly sit by your phone, he ignored the text you sent four days ago because he didn’t care enough to respond.
Subconsciously I knew that the love I had for this person was not reciprocated. But instead of listening to the feelings I had in my heart, I turned to the naive things I told myself based on what he was saying.
I think this quote can also relate to the other side of the story. There’s another quote that I see often that says, “I can’t make you love me.” I’ve been in relationships with people who are kind, considerate, loving, and patient, who had nothing but pure love for me. And yet here I was, unable to feel the same way. Though it was no one’s fault, I made sure to remove myself from the situation due to the fact that it was unfair to both of us.
I think it’s time we stop trying to justify that it’s okay that we are sad because someone tells us not to be. If we can feel in our hearts that we are not appreciated and loved, then it doesn’t make sense to pretend that we are because someone simply took four seconds of their day to send a half-hearted text saying that they like us.
We shouldn’t cling to empty words or actions to force ourselves to be reassured that we matter to someone when we actually don’t; or at least not enough. In order to truly be happy, we must cease to ignore how we are feeling inside, because it’s the one thing that is always the truth. And when we stop ignoring the truth, that is when we are finally able to let go.