All the single ladies, who’s with me?
September 22nd is National Singles Day, the singular time (pun intended) to celebrate hearts beating fiercely on their own. (There’s actually an entire week devoted to these individuals.)
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly half of the U.S. population consists of alleged “singletons,” those who are not currently in a romantic relationship, partnership, or otherwise committed entanglement.
If you are the other half of your own power couple—no matter how this state resonates with you—this day is for you.
It can be hard to celebrate singleness, especially if you feel that you thrive in a relationship. If you’re currently navigating heartbreak, National Singles Day may feel like an unwanted spotlight.
That’s why this day should be about you and your heart. There is more value than most realize in falling in love with ourselves (rather than others).
Let’s make you the reason for your next swoon, shall we?
Identify deep longings and say “yes” to them—unequivocally.
What longings are riding in your veins at this given moment? Are you craving a bowl of really excellent noodles? Thinking about booking that vacation, quitting your job, attending a pottery class?
Take a moment to identify what you yearn for. And I mean yearn. Passing whims are okay, but longings suggest intuitive desires, articulations of your soul’s needs.
I find myself daily longing for meaningful connection with other humans. I long to lose myself in my own creativity, my own words. I yearn to be changed. I hunger for truly excellent parmesan French fries.
You are deserving of realizing these longings every day. Satisfying these is one of the most profound expressions of self-love out there. Say yes to your longings today—unequivocally.
Take this day to admit hard truths.
Some parts of self-love have sharp corners. We avoid these sharp corners generally, thinking they won’t be kind to us.
Acknowledging hard truths can be integral to your own self-infatuation process. Admitting them can be a crowning gesture of commitment to your selfhood.
Would you keep hard truths away from a partner? A spouse? If you care about that relationship, probably not.
Sometimes hard truths lurk in our subconscious, waiting for our own willingness to pay attention to them. This day can be about paying attention to them. I guarantee that, as painful as that sounds, this is ultimately good—you’ll breathe easier.
This may mean admitting addiction, despair, grief, or an eating disorder. Or it can be something smaller (though no less powerful): acknowledging how you feel about being single, recognizing what you really want.
Release what isn’t serving you.
If these hard truths come to the surface, they may compel action of some kind. They may make you realize what isn’t serving you—what isn’t helping you to live wildly, graciously, and free.
Pick out what isn’t serving you today and let it go. Send it back out into the universe for someone else to experience.
I finally realized that coffee, as amazing as it is, does not really serve my body. It elevates my anxiety, messes with my sleep. I also realized jealousy’s capacity to take up residence in my heart in certain situations (particularly yoga studios and Instagram).
Letting both of these go has calmed my racing, green-eyed heart.
Take yourself out.
Yes, I’m serious. Stay with me. Dates aren’t just for duos.
Set aside some time today to go on your dream date with yourself—whether it’s to the spa, the movies, a nearby park, or even the grocery store. Actually schedule this—set a precise time and location.
(I write “Date Night” in my planner, for example. It makes it feel serious, because it is.)
Wear something that makes you feel sexy, empowered, and bright (as sexy, empowered, and bright as you are). Do something amazing to your hair, even if you may be the only one staring. Put on cherry red lipstick. Spritz perfume.
There’s no shame in eating out alone. In fact, there can be something incredibly alluring about a goddess lounging in a movie seat by herself.
I’m not saying your Date Night should revolve around catching someone’s eye (although it can). Your Date Night should be about you, your own power, and your ability to dedicate an entire evening or afternoon to your own needs.
Give your body some love.
Our bodies often get the side burner. When was the last time you had a massage, indulged in some healthy food, went for a long hike, played under the sheets? When was the last time you stared in the mirror and felt mighty in your own skin?
Today is the day for all of these things—potentially more. Identify your physical needs, and not just basic, survival needs. Make a list and strive to meet these needs thoroughly.
Indulge in a meditation class or a hot yoga session. Sign up for a facial or book an appointment with a personal trainer. Splurge on that healthy green smoothie. Do a catwalk walk, multiple times. Revel in your body—it will likely be grateful.
Set valuable intentions.
I shy away from the word “resolution” because it feels so rigid and limiting. Take National Singles Day as an opportunity for establishing intentions (rather than resolutions) for growth.
These can relate to your love life—i.e., No more Bumble until my broken heart is sutured back together—or lifestyle—I’m going to commit to a morning routine once and for all.
They can be as simple and small as I intend to love myself today.
These intentions can be powerful, particularly if you write them on your mirror or text them to yourself.
They establish a knowing dedication to you and your well-being. Like a partner leaving you good morning notes in your purse, intentions can be a reminder that you matter, especially on your own.
Revel in how amazing you are.
Enough said. You are worthy of your own love—again and again. Step into your pride. Step into your power. Linger as long as you like. This is the love that matters.