15 Reasons Why You Should Not Travel The World

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Flickr/Ludovico Cera

‘Wanderlust’ is one of the many buzzwords that hit hard in 2014 and it’s no surprise that with it came an abundance of ’40 Reasons To Travel The World’ style articles online, not to mention travel writers crashing onto the scene left, right and center.

I’ve written the book on How to Quit Your Job and Travel the World for all of the naysayers, but that still doesn’t seem to have squashed the Negative Nelly elephant in the room.

1. Using your passport a lot makes it super tatty looking.

2. Because (in the words of Jarvis Cocker) everybody hates a tourist and so you’ll undoubtedly be hated.

3. New cultures are often confusing, weird and ultimately, different. Not to mention that new food and unfamiliar water can cause an unfortunate case of ‘jippy tummy’.

4. Your cat can’t travel with you.

5. Trip planning may be fun, but the actual travelling is usually pretty stressful.

6. Having to deal with foreign currencies is the worst and often leads to overspending. Let’s not forget the high possibility of being conned at a market for a worthless piece of crap.

7. Your Christmas gifts will inevitably suck because you spend all of your money on travel and re-gift them worthless market crap.

8. Everyone will accuse you of having rich parents to fund your travels or claim you’re ‘lucky’, which is just plain BS.

9. Travel may destroy many potential opportunities you could have waiting for you if you stay put.

10. Because you might have to start a Pinterest board called ‘Wanderlust’. Ew.

11. Everyone back home will hate you when you return because all you will want to talk about are your travels.

12. Because when you do eventually go home, that will suck too.

13. So you don’t become one of those people who is all ‘the journey’ and ‘leap of faith’.

14. Even the serenity of sunsets will not stop you from missing your Mum’s homemade stew. Neither will falafel.

15. Because the world hates you and is out to get you. So you may as well order some pizza and just start a new Netflix series.

But if those 15 reasons are not reason enough, you might like my book, How to Quit Your Job and Travel the World. TC mark

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