My best friend and I met in a peculiar manner, unlike most other friends. Every girl has those friends they meet while drunk, and usually in the bathroom, but it doesn’t ever go further than that. Sometimes you think about the girls you’ve drunkenly met over the years and hope that they are doing well in whatever they were drinking about, crying about and that they are happy. But me, I can happily say that one of those girls ended up as my best friend. Nothing bonds you better than having to deal with a dirty frat bathroom while playing a revised version of Edward Forty-Hands.
My best friend is my soul mate. We get each other. We just understand what each other wants, and after moving 2,500 miles away from her, I realized other young women I meet have the same feelings about their bestie back home. My best friend is my soul mate because:
1. You know what she needs and when. Whether it’s alcohol, coffee, or soda.
Or a nap, a night out, a night in, and a milkshake. You can tell just by the tone of her voice on the phone. And by the time you hang up, you already have ideas of what you’re going to do when you get to her place. It’s second nature. Good days, bad days, and lazy days, you can just tell.
2. You’re a packaged deal.
She’s invited out, it’s just understood that the person inviting her to the bar, the club, to their house to hang out…you’re coming, too. When a friend sees one of you, the other isn’t far behind. Often you’re driving together so you show up places together. And vise versa: if you’re going to a party she’s going, too, whether she wants to or not.
When you go out to dinner you pretty much know what the other is getting, and sometimes you are getting the same thing.
It has probably happened once, or twice, or every single time. “Can I have the double margarita blended?” “Make that two.” It’s a common occurrence, and you’ve learned to look past it although others still comment on it or think it’s weird. It’s not weird to you and your bestie though…completely normal.
3. Picking up the bill on occasion isn’t weird.
When you’re far enough into a romantic relationship, paying for things isn’t a one-sided friendly gesture. It’s a trade-off, and you and your bestie have reached this relationship nirvana. You know her credit limit is wearing thin and her mom is going to kill her if she charges even one more thing, so you grab the tab and call it even. She’ll get the next one, or one soon enough.
You get ready for a night out at each other’s house.
And sometimes you match. Like most couples getting ready together, you end up finalizing yourself and then seeing how you both are wearing the same colors/patterns/boots. Except you didn’t plan it. At this point, it’s a nightly occurrence.
You’ve considered buying one of those pillows that lights up when the other person is sleeping on theirs for your semester abroad.
It’s only six months, you convince yourself as you leave your other half for a semester away. But you miss her so much that you’ve spent late nights on Groupon looking at the couples long-distance pillows. And you know that neither you nor she would ever use it, but you want it. So. Bad. Because you miss her and are dying without her. Naps just aren’t the same when your best friend’s insistent calling and texting to hang out are absent.
4. She’s the only person you text consistently.
Nine times out of ten you’re not glued to your phone because Twitter and Facebook are blowing up. It’s because your best friend decided that (in the last hour of you not being on your phone) to text you fifty times in a row. She’s almost always at the top of your message list, and at some point you’re not even holding a real conversation. You’re just sending memes back and forth because you’re not physically hanging out and feel the need to be constantly in contact with her.
5. You actually have phone conversations with her. And they last a long time.
People still make phone calls, shocking, I know. But she’s one of those special people in your life up there with grandma and mom whom you call at the end of a bad day, or after a really hard test, or just to talk and catch up. And if you’re calling, it’s usually for a good reason, and the conversations go for hours at a time.
6. You have a routine that regularly involves her, and you know her schedule just as she knows yours.
Wake up, school, work, hanging out, napping. *order may vary*
You can’t go more than a couple of days without contact before feeling like part of you is missing or lost.
One time my phone died, and I swear I had thirty messages and half a dozen Snapchats. She likes to keep you updated with whatever she is doing. It could be as boring as work or the night out you didn’t attend. When you do finally reply, it is paragraphs of information that to any other person wouldn’t make one ounce of sense, but she understands you and replies in the same manner, addressing every point.
7. You hate the same people.
When it comes to hating people, you both should go pro. Your messages often include recent posts of people you both mutually hate. You hold two conversations via text: one about a normal conversation, and the other about the person you hate. Nicknames, trash talking and photographic evidence of this person actually being satan are not unheard of. When you see said person in public you both shutter with hate. It’s always nice to have someone else who feels the same as you.
8. When she’s sick, you still use her spoon, drink from her drink, and don’t really care because you share everything.
It sounds gross, but if you want her ice cream, or her Jack and Coke, you don’t even ask. You dig right in. What’s hers is yours, even the common cold. Plus, it’s just a further sign that you’re actually the same person. And if you get her illness you have more of an excuse to hang out and be miserable together.
9. She knows about every body irregularity in excoriating detail.
From period cramps that feel like fiery knives in your abdomen, to regretting the burrito you had for lunch making it’s vengeance… she’s heard it all. She’ll know all about it. There is no such thing as too personal with you guys.
10. Your mom loves her. And probably loves her more than you.
On more than one occasion my mom has asked if my best friend was coming over for dinner. Mom will say things like, “I miss Christina.” And invites your bestie over herself. In fact, my mom does that now, as I am far away from home, and my best friend. Sometimes you’re afraid she’s only coming over to hang out with her family and enjoy cosmos with your mom while you watch television shows like Say Yes to the Dress.
11. She’s part of your family, and you’re part of hers.
You’re both comfortable around each others family, in fact know them so well that you both understand the complaints about them on a first hand basis. From family barbecues to birthday dinners, she’s there with you. Your siblings know her, they’re Facebook friends, and you are all just one big family. Sometimes they even question if you’re not best friends and actually dating.
12. You’re already planning future vacations and family events with her.
Obviously she’s going to be the god-mother of one, if not all, your children, so why not plan out those future events? Halloween block parties and Fourth of July barbecues are already in the works. “We’re going to live down the street from each other, our kids are going to marry, and we will be vacationing to the Keys twice a year” May or may not have been a rough translation of a text I sent my best friend a few months back. Obviously she agreed, and we both understand our husbands will be jealous of our relationship seeing as we will be spending more time together than with them.
13. You’ve decided where you both want to settle down, which is the same city (obviously) and will probably be neighbors.
For me and my best friend, it’s probably going to be Denver. But you bet your bottom dollar we will be down the street from each other bringing the “Open Door Policy” to a whole new level. We’ve never had boundaries, so why start now?
14. Majority of your posts are about her, even if either of you have a significant other.
Any time you post an Instagram she’s in it, or took it for you. You have enough photos together to cover a few dozen walls of your future houses. And any time a post similar to this shows up on your NewsFeed you’re posting it to her. Sex and the City had it right, boys are to have fun with and our girlfriends are our true soul mates. Not an exaggeration.
And as you read this, you’re thinking of your best friend, and are probably going to post it to her wall, because she’s your actual soul mate. [tc-mark
This one goes to my best friend, Christina. Thanks for everything, you’re a bitch and I love you.