If Only I Could Sit Still And Look Pretty

All the pretty girls want to be my friend
and talk about a perfect life I lead
so we dance and drink
and dance and drink
in a dark corner in the bar
over music they’ll yell,
“you can have any guy you want in life,
if just you sit still and look pretty”
I wish I had your life, they sing

But how can you want this life when, some days,
I don’t event want it and it’s already mine?

All the pretty boys want to hold my hand
They’ll take me to dinner and bring me back home again
They pretend to care about my thoughts
Until they get lost in my mind

I didn’t expect you to be so complex, they say
I just wanted that body
to still and look pretty

I’m struggling to fight
The same demons I’m dancing with
They don’t have a face,
But dejection is just a feeling
As I let them twirl me around in seamless circles,
they whisper louder
put down the pen and do what you’re good for
Just sit still and look pretty

I’m drowning, I’m drowning
(how are my surroundings breathing?)
My head’s held high
I’ll smile and laugh before
allowing the water filling my lungs
to sneak out through my eyes

But now I’m lying on my bathroom floor
As every moment since then
Sits on my chest and suffocates my mind
I cling to the side of the tub,
The a warm welcome, like an old friend

I’m trying, I’m trying,
I cry
I’m trying my hardest
To sit still and look pretty.