The Love You Think You Need Is All Around You

For the past 25 years of my life, I have been surrounded by a multitude of love. While the shapes and sizes varied it was always in the most raw form that I have experienced love. I guess it’s for the exact same reason that I have chased love, down empty hall ways, through haunted houses, on the teeter totters of playgrounds,none of which could amount to the love I have, so thankfully, been surrounded by.

For a long time I was under the impression that my “person” could be found through formula that replicated that of my relatives: parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts or uncles,  and even perhaps with some vivid imagination, my great grandparents. Pursing this idea gave my mind permission to project all my wants and needs in whatever scenario I was in, seeing fit to red flags and accepting way less than I deserved, as I wandered and spun my heart around my well-thought-up projections. The belief that every single guy I’ve ever dated was my person was not only exhausting but it disconnected me from what my actual wants and needs from a partner were.

I was too busy weaving myself into the notions of a romanticized relationship that didn’t exist to even notice that I had  choices, options and that maybe the secret to life and happiness wasn’t even about finding a person, maybe it was about dwelling in the love that you have right at your feet.

When I reflect on the past 25 years of my life, there are a handful of people that love me unconditionally, no qualms or rules- at the end of the day their love exists for me perpetually. The thought of this alone is very rewarding.

Life is not about finding one person to complete you.

I realize that not every girl wants to hear that- but it needs to be said. No one is ever going to complete you, that noise my friends is for the birds, you know the ones that sing along with Snow White and help Cinderella groom for a day of work.

The truth is, instead of moping around and whining about your inability to find love, or grasping onto this jealousy of all the happy couples around you what you should be doing, is showering your life and everyone in it with positivity.

Immerse yourself in the love that surrounds you, embrace your family and friends.

I’ve found, that with all things- what you put out is what you receive. Love can be experienced in a variety of ways and everyone needs to let go of the concept that finding someone, the right person is going to turn their life around. Life will always be a roller coaster. Good will always face bad, no matter who is in your life- no matter what.

You will always face trials. Your poise in handling them is what defines you and derives from the love you give yourself, not love from a man.

Your independence, your confidence, your ability to spread happiness, your career, your goals. These are all things that should be prioritized and put on top of the list before your concerns for being right for someone. Because, I promise you that when push comes to shove, there is an ocean of love at the tips of your toes- you just have to be the one to dive in and enjoy it.