Read This If You’re Ready For The Tough Love No One Else Will Give You About Your Breakup

Ransom Ashley
Ransom Ashley

We all have those annoying exes; we’ve all been those annoying exes. Ultimately, it all boils down to this; exes are exes for a reason. Everyone handles heartbreak differently. Who are we to say how someone should act after they’ve just had their heart ripped out and stomped on, after they’ve had to watch the person they love, fall madly in love with somebody else.

If you’re reading this, chances are, you’re the annoying ex, the ex who is being annoyed, or the new love who is annoyed by the ex. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been in each one of these positions at some point in my life. I’d have to say, being the annoying ex and being the new love who is annoyed by the ex are the hardest to be of the three. As for the ex who is being annoyed by the ex, yes it can be quite bothersome when somebody won’t leave you alone, but let’s face it, we all enjoy the attention from time to time, oddly, there is some comfort in knowing someone can’t get over you, even if you have gotten over them.

Read here if you’re the annoying ex.

First, I want you to ask yourself, how long you have been letting yourself be the annoying ex. Has it been over a year? If so, I need you to stop it, stop it right now. You are polluting your insides. Get rid of the pictures of him/her that have been tucked away in that shoebox, just far enough into your closet that it’s out of sight, but close enough that if you guys “get back together” you still have them. Stop creeping on their social media, stop staring at the pictures of him with her, or of her with him. Stop spending so much energy stalking/hating someone you don’t even know. I know it’s easier said than done, but chances are if you still care this much, he/she knows.

If they haven’t come back in the year that you’ve been aching for them, trust me when I say, they’re just not that into you.

You’ve spent enough time sitting around listening to Adele, enough time hanging out with their friends to try to make them jealous, enough time posting selfies to try to get them to notice you, enough time trying to find the littlest thing wrong with his/her new love, most importantly, you’ve spent enough time feeling sorry for yourself.

You keep wondering why you’re still alone, why you can’t get over them, how they moved on from you so fast yet you’re still stuck on them.

Everyone copes with heartbreak differently.

You had to spend more time alone with your sadness than they did and that’s okay, but do not spend more time than you have to. Nobody wants to start something new with somebody who is caught up on somebody else. Open your heart up to new people, new love, new friendship, and new adventures. After all, you thought you’d never get over the ex before this one, and look who came around when you least expected it. Open your heart up and let the sadness finally leave you. Something wonderful will come along, but only if you let it.

Read here if you’re the new love being annoyed by your lovers ex.

An ex is an ex for a reason, I cannot stress this enough. Their love may very well have been a good one, but it fell short. Be thankful for that rather than wasting energy on the details. If your lover makes you feel like you are in competition with anyone, ex or not, that is not a healthy relationship and that is not the right lover for you.

I’ll tell you what, finding the right lover is a confidence booster. They pick your self-esteem up in ways you will be forever grateful for. The right lover never makes you question their love or loyalty. Regardless of how much you trust your lover, their ex will most likely always annoy you, but that’s just life. As long as your lover does not make you feel threatened by their ex, just ignore them, they’re just jealous. Trust me when I say, they will do everything in their power to get to you, they’ll call you every name in the book and subtweet ya for days. Who cares! You have the wonderful lover that they regret losing, don’t make the same mistake they did by worrying too much.

Regardless of which one you are, be respectful.

Coping with loss is hard, especially when one person just simply fell out of love with the other.

If you’re the annoying ex, stop with the annoying part and just simply be the ex. If you once loved this person truly, then you should want them to be happy. I know it stings bad that it’s not with you, but if your love for them was true and pure, then in your heart, you know you have to let them move on.

If you’re the new love, have some compassion for the ex. You don’t need to hate him/her. In fact, you two probably have a lot more in common than you think. After all, you both fell in love with the same person, and the same person fell in love with both of you. That has to count for something. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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