Yeah, Sleeping Beauty has class in the morning.
“I’m the girl you always thought I was… I just happen to also be a lesbian, and I always have been.”
That’s the whole point of brunch… so you get drunk in the morning. I just call that morning.
Do not actually do anything that makes it seem like you’re hitting on them.
You are just slightly less paranoid about getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant because I mean, at least you have a job and a degree? Stable relationship? What?
Even your Netflix queue mocks you.
Really obvious subtweeting that makes everybody feel awkward.
“You’re too pretty to be gay!”
Racism. Particularly against white people.
Find really insignificant things that they completely believe are “signs” that they should be together.