17 Things Men Say They Want Vs. What They Actually Want

God & Man

1. What they say they want: “I just want someone who knows what she wants in life.”

What they actually want: “I just want someone who knows what she wants in life, but mostly because I have no idea what I want in life.”

2. What they say they want: “I want to end up with a nice girl.”

What they actually want: “I want to end up with a nice girl, but I want her to love sex just as much as the not-nice ones.”

3. What they say they want: “I’m crazy about you, I want to be with you.”

What they actually want: “I am super into this right now and haven’t thought it through past three days from now. Are you naked yet?”

4. What they say they want: “I don’t want a girl who dresses *too* slutty.”

What they actually want: “I would hook up with a girl no matter what she was wearing, but I will say this to make you feel like there’s a class of women who are below me.”

5. What they say they want: “I want a woman who’s not overly emotional.”

What they actually want: “I only count ‘female’ emotions as ’emotions.’ When I get angry it’s acceptable but your feelings are not.”

6. What they say they want: “I just want a girl with a good personality.”

What they actually want: “I just want a HOT girl with a personality I can at least stomach.”

7. What they say they want: “Let’s stay friends.”

What they actually want: “Really hope you get the hint that we can end this text thread now, please don’t text back please don’t guilt me into texting back please god maybe I can pretend I died or my phone died or both.”

8. What they say they want: “I don’t want commitment.”

What they actually want: “I don’t want commitment, but I don’t want anyone I’m with to sleep with anyone else.”

9. What they say they want: “I want a cool girlfriend.”

What they actually want: “I want a chill girlfriend who lets me do whatever I want, and sits on the side while I play video games or watch sports and doesn’t nag or interfere while the clock is running.”

10. What they say they want: “I want a girl who challenges me.”

What they actually want: “I want a girl who agrees with 99% of what I say.”

11. What they say they want: “I like a girl who doesn’t wear too much makeup.”

What they actually want: “I like women who wear enough makeup to look like they could come right out of a magazine spread, but like, I want it to look like a NATURAL magazine spread.”

12. What they say they want: “I like a girl who is intelligent.”

What they actually want: “I like a girl who is intelligent, but if she’s too educated on things that challenge my masculinity or status as a man in a patriarchal society, it’s a huge turnoff.”

13. What they say they want: “I want a girl who has her own opinions.”

What they actually want: “I want a girl who has her own opinions, but doesn’t voice them too loudly or aggressively.”

14. What they say they want: “I want a girl who’s into sports.”

What they actually want: “I want a girl who lets me watch sports (and would hate it if she’s more into it than me).”

15. What they say they want: “I want someone who is down-to-earth and honest.”

What they actually want: “I want someone who is down-to-earth and honest, but I will withhold details and tell white lies if it’s more convenient for me.”

16. What they say they want: “I want a girl who cooks.”

What they actually want: “I want a girl who cooks.”

17. What they say they want: “I want a guy who can eat like one of the guys.”

What they actually want: “I want a guy who can eat like one of the guys, but looks like a supermodel.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

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