1. It’s always “just one more episode.”
2. “Binge watch” is a term that means
something everything to you.
3. At this point, you’re more consumed by fictional character’s lives than you are your own.
4. You don’t even use cable anymore, but you probably just got a Chromecast.
5. You spent a while mooching off of someone else’s account but caved and decided to pay the grueling $10 a month because you didn’t want them to see whatever weird shit popped up on recommended queue based on your “interests in…”
6. Though you are “so busy” and your schedule is just “crazy right now,” you’re not sure how you actually have time to get through all those seasons of random shows, but somehow, some way, by the grace of something holier than you, you can.
7. Your “recommended” queue says so much about you, in the worst way possible.
8. You’ve seen more obscure reality shows about dysfunctional cats and odd specialty stores and hipster ass projects and consider yourself educated on a number of these topics.
9. One of your greatest joys is getting to go back to the beginning of your favorite shows and watch them through again and again and look at the characters when they were young and cute and innocent.
10. You have become an insufferable know it all about shows like OITNB.
11. You know what OITNB stands for.
12. You cancel plans to sit home and binge watch.
13. The high you get from being able to get through numerous seasons of a show in a day without commercial interruption is unprecedented.
14. Netflix itself solidified your belief that the Internet is all you need to survive.
15. You nearly have a panic attack when you see that god forsaken little circle with the red dash spinning around inside and the percentage the show is loaded sliding back and forth from 23% to 67% repeatedly just at the most dramatic cliffhanger possible.