20 Kid Things That Absolutely Never Get Old

1. Building forts. What used to be for playing war and house is now the basis on which all those glamping Pinterest boards are created. And let’s be honest, is there anything more #hip or awesome than building a pillow and sheet fort to like, drink and have sex under? Probably not.

2. “Kid” food like chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs and happy meals. If you are past your early to mid twenties and that hasn’t been a staple of your diet for at least a few months at a time please call me because I’d like to know how you have your life so together.

3. Showing your parents your good grades and basking in their showers of love and adoration while hiding your bad grades from them and pretending they never came. Apply this as a metaphor to almost every aspect of post-grad life.

4. That feeling when your favorite cartoon comes on. I will proudly admit that many nights I fall asleep to cartoons that the divine gods at Netflix decided to put on their queue.

5. Sleepovers, because with your friends they’re awesome and you can do all that unsupervised shit you always wanted like gossip about boys and try on weird makeup and when it’s with the opposite sex/someone you’re attracted to it’s just… I can leave it at that I think.

6. Phone calls. Because one of the most romantic things people do these days is call you to see how you’re doing. Sad. True.

7. Making arts and crafts. ::Shines a rainbow over to Pinterest:: Arts and crafts hour is where it all started my friends. DIY? Yeah, aka re-live making holiday frames for your parents and Thanksgiving turkeys out of the outline of your hand.

8. Gorging on Halloween candy.

9. Tea parties, like the ones little girls used to have. We now call that drunk brunch.

10. Disney channel original movies and ABC’s 25 Days of Christmas. I don’t care what holiday you celebrate that shit brings me to tears with joy.

11. New breakfast cereals. Like, when Krave came out and we were all like omg wtf yes.

12. Parent/child dates. There’s still something amazing about going on a date with your mom or dad. Big bonus if they still pay for your dinner out because well, let’s just be honest here.

13. Being home alone aka living on your own and being free as hell to do all the weird shit you love like dance in your underwear. That shit is not over.

14. “Kid vacations” like going to Disney World and being in tears as you realize that this is, actually, literally, what dreams are made of.

15. Sick days and snow days, and doing all the same things you did when you were in elementary school. And by that I mean, taking unnecessary sick days and making snow days for yourself like you couldn’t in elementary school.

16. Grown up truth or dare aka what stupid shit should we do while we’re drunk today… lol, last weekend my best friend and I switched phones to text each other’s crushes something ridiculous like “love me or else” and thank GOD something came over us and we didn’t send them because omg.

17. Mom hugs. Moms always make everything better.

18. Planning your birthday party. I have not seen girls getting their panties all up in bunches about birthday parties since they were 9 years old but dear god if one more person calls me to bitch for an hour about the place settings and which bar we should all stumble to to toast her 26th I’ll actually vom. Lol, jk, I actually live for that shit. I’m all talk.

19. NAPPING. Oh my actual GOD why didn’t we take advantage of this when our pre-school teachers were forcing it upon us?

20. Being scared of irrational shit and using it as a flirtation mechanism, like, oh, beautiful person who I love, I’m afraid of the dark, please hold me and love me forever and take care of me until I die. Like, we started that shit with our moms and now it’s just taken on a whole new beautiful life and made for an excellent precursor to sex… just me? Probably just me. TC Mark

Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

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