White girls. This one’s for you.
1. In the morning you’re freezing so you bundle up in your knit scarf and riding boots and by 2 p.m. you’re sweating and gasping for air in 80 degree weather. Fall fashion staples are beautiful in theory and on Tumblr but let’s just… let’s be honest here. There are few things more disgusting than peeling a scarf off of your sweating neck and walking around in a tank top and boots for the rest of the day.
2. I generally think that Halloween, while really fun, is also a really disturbing and strange cultural phenomenon and some people get really creepy about it. I mean, really. Just look up those photos of the creepy Halloween costumes from like a hundred years ago. Not to mention it’s a internal battle between, wow, I should go out and party like a cool adult, and wow, can I find a kid to “supervise” trick-or-treating because that’s what I really want to do.
3. It’s back to school season, and yeah, that’s all well and great but in a few weeks all your school supplies will lose their “new” smell and it’s back to homework, studying and the daily grind.
4. Pumpkin Spice Lattes aren’t THAT good. There, I said it, okay? I think people are just enchanted by the idea of them.
5. You wake up one day and realize that all of a sudden, it’s too late to go to the beach or do the summer things you never got around to. No more outdoor concerts or yoga on a roof top for you cool hippies. No more just prancing out of the house in a sundress. It’s all over and you wasted it sitting inside in the air conditioning.
6. Raking. It’s days like these I don’t mind city living.
7. It’s Thanksgiving, which is awesome and great, until you’re responsible for cooking something or being an adult about it which is just… like, if you know how to cook a turkey lmk.
8. Black Friday comes right after that which serves as a reminder of one of two things: how much money you don’t have to spend on the holidays or how you’re an adult now and you have to buy family members legitimate gifts.
9. All of an effing sudden the sun is going down like 7 hours earlier and you’re like ohKAY then. Time to buy a festive candle but OH WAIT…
10. The seasonal candles that everybody freaks out about are like, really expensive. Why has nobody complained about this before? Do you really have all that money lying around to spend $25 on a big pumpkin Yankee Candle? I don’t.
11. If we’re being really honest, you have to have a very specific body type to wear a big, comfy sweater without it being completely unflattering and that body type is SKINNY AS HELL.
12. If you’re not absolutely obsessed with football then say goodbye to having anything in common with 85% of the people you know.
13. Not all the trees look like a kaleidoscope of warm hues and gently falling crisp leaves. Most of the time, they are dead leaves on the ground, leaving you with a sad naked branch that only ushers in a #dark season of winter.
14. You start getting sick. I have literally been sitting here listening to my coworkers cough and sneeze in harmony every 5 minutes. Not fall chic.