I’m Finally Realizing I Don’t Have To Face Chronic Pain Alone

A woman with windswept hair in front of rocks, water, and sunshine in Lubenice
Jurica Koletić / Unsplash

My recurrent illness is a symptom of a much greater problem.

The issue isn’t only physical but emotional. It’s spiritual.

I realize it is a lesson that only chronic physical pain can teach.

It is a black hole of darkness. It is a light.

It is a ticking time bomb. It is a gift.

My pain is my savior.

I realize I don’t believe I deserve to be taken care of so I’ve refused to ask for and accept help.

Simply put, I don’t believe I deserve to be well.

A health issue that would have been solved with proper care and treatment by engaged and curious professionals has become a personal science experiment.

Another example of me choosing to struggle on alone believing only I can fix it.

I have refused again to surrender to a higher power that I know exists.

11:11 is everywhere as I take my first baby steps forward.

I have treated my body as if I have another one to trade. It still thrives.

I have treated my mind as if I have the ability to function without it. It still chooses gratitude.

I have treated my heart as if it isn’t the sole reason I dance or feel joy or remain childlike and alive. It still beats.

I need to treat myself better. I matter.

Use this bottomless well of loving kindness and wise words I’d offer to a friend or relative on myself instead.

I do not have to suffer in silence.

A little girl learned that technique far too long ago. I will show her a new way.

I am not alone.

I am surrounded by compassion and empathy the second I stop to look for it.

I am loved.

Shame is a problem all of the drugs in the world can’t fix. Love, only love, can help.

I decide to choose again.

I decide to choose better.

I decide to take action.

Excuse me, can you help? TC mark

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