16 Signs You’d Never Survive As A Science Major

1. You care too much about other people’s literary knowledge. Sorry, but as a science major, you’ll probably have to deal with at least a few people who haven’t read Jane Austen or Jane Eyre. Get over it.

2. You see things as black and white and you don’t really care about hypothetical ideas. Hypothetical ideas/theories -> experimentation -> a better understanding of the world as a whole.

3. The phrase “department-wide potluck” doesn’t excite you. Because if you don’t like free food, then you’ve got a problem that goes beyond surviving as a science major or a liberal arts major. Actually, you probably just don’t belong in college.

4. You have no idea what you want to do with your life. Because clearly every theoretical physics major is going to end up being a professional physicist.

5. You can’t handle people with differing political beliefs. Sorry, there are going to be people out there who disagree with you.

6. You just really fucking hate math and complain about it instead of getting over it and studying your ass off to get a good grade regardless of how much you hate the subject.

7. You’ve never thought about the lack of women in STEM fields. For guys, you’d better consider the fact that you’re not going to be meeting girls in class. For girls, you should know that you’re probably going to get hit on constantly. Note: this does not apply to biology majors, where girls actually outnumber guys.

8. You hardcore judge people who like Nickelback, Britney Spears and country music. Science tends to be really cooperative and if you dismiss people based on their musical taste, you’re going to miss out on the assistance they might give you.

9. When browsing online dating profiles, you instantly get turned off and click away if someone says they know C++ and Java. If coding languages scare you, you won’t make it in science.

10. You have no employable skills and don’t want to go to school to acquire them.

11. You hate business attire and the idea of ‘suiting up’ horrifies you. Career fairs and job interviews generally require business dress and those tend to be necessary in finding a job.

12. You don’t see the romance in studying the way our bodies, our planet, our universe works. Science is fucking mesmerizing and if you don’t see it, GTFO.

13. Your internet habits while you were growing up still define you. If you haven’t grown since then, how do you expect to deal with complicated concepts and ideas in math and science?

14. You spend all of your time worrying about terms like “structural evil,” “oppression” or cultural biases. If you want to be a science major, you’re going to have to spend most of your time studying and leave the philosophizing for the weekend.

15. You can’t handle the idea that you might not have time to be involved in many extra-curricular activities and ultimate frisbee leagues. As a science major, you’re going to have to spend the vast majority of your time on schoolwork. You’ll still be able to join clubs, just not ALL the clubs.

16. You think money shouldn’t be considered. Being easily employable is overrated, right? TC mark

image – jurvetson

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