5 Important Things I Learned From My Big Brother

1. What cigarettes taste like.

Which, for the record, is terrible. Thanks, big bro.

2. I do stupid things when I’m drunk.

I was 16. He gave me three shots of vodka and I was a complete mess. After I shared my innermost feelings and revealed inappropriate secrets, I fell off the stairs and slept under the bed. It will never happen again.

3. Our parents are not perfect.

Parents are human beings too. They make mistakes. If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

4. Life is unfair; get used to it.

Let’s face it: Some professors are little more than people who think they are above God and that they are so damn smart when they are not. I was in junior college when I first had a taste of injustice (an unfair grade) and I took it personally. My big brother told me to not internalize everything and get over it. Grades do not define a person and, in the long run, don’t measure intelligence.

5. What love looks like, and to wait for it.

He was going through a divorce. I remember him telling me that love wears off. The magic, spark, or whatever you call that electricity-like feeling you had slowly slips away. He said that after 8 years of being together, all that’s left was respect. You respect each other, the relationship and the marriage until the time comes for the both of you to let go. So he told me to wait; to not rush into things; to keep looking and don’t settle. “As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”