There seems to be no other holiday that induces anxiety the way that New Year’s Eve does. Forget the stresses of your Hallmark holidays–New Year’s Eve will have you sweating giant pit stains for weeks before the event.
First, you’ll start talking
Post Thanksgiving, once you begin settling into December, everyone will start talking and whispers of “what are YOU doing for New Year’s Eve” will be thrown hesitantly and fearfully into your conversations.
For a moment, you’ll let yourself get excited
Fantasising about New Year’s Eve, you’ll find and purchase the perfect outfit. Maybe this will be the New Year’s you’ve always hoped for.
Then, everyone will have conflicting ideas
The whispers will turn into audible yelps as everyone has a different idea for how New Year’s Eve should go down.
You will become disorientated and confused
One minute you were nursing a turkey hangover and now you’re so fucking confused and you don’t know how this happened.
You walked in and out of Macy’s in a half hour bracket and managed to pick up perfect Christmas presents for each of your family members but you can not commit to a single New Year’s Eve plan.
Eventually, you’ll become apathetic
When Christmas is creeping, you’ll stop giving a fuck about NYE. You have last minute shopping to do, planes to catch, family to see and parties to attend. New Year’s Eve who?
After relaxing about it over Christmas, you’ll be filled with panic
Upon realizing there’s less than a week to NYE, you’ll start panicing. Not only have you not made a plan, you no longer fit into your killer outfit because you ate too much over the Christmas break. ALSO WHO THE FUCK WILL YOU KISS WHEN THE BALL DROPS?
But it won’t be long until you become apathetic again
When it becomes clear there’s not a thing you can do at this point to turn your New Year’s Eve plans around, you’ll have no fucks left to give, and start being OK with a night at home with burritos and jammies.
Although when NYE finally rolls around, you’ll grudgingly go along
As with all party driven occasions, something will pop up at the last minute, and you’ll end up in a sweaty rave in the middle of a neighborhood you’ve never heard of, probably having at least an OK-ish time, and wondering what all your damn fussing was about.