The 20 Worst Things About Packing

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If you want to give yourself a stroke, pack for a trip. It is probably the most anxiety inducing thing you can do without leaving your bedroom. Here are the 20 worst things about packing:

1. Figuring how to fit everything you own into the biggest possible bag an airline will allow for carry on.

2. Knowing that out of eleventy billion clothes you’ve packed, you’ll only actually wear 3 things.

3. Having to strategically arrange shoes in that front to back way so that they fit in tiny spaces.

4. Everything turning into a crumpled mess even though you took the time to fold meticulously.

5. Having to wear at least 17 items of clothing onto the plane, especially bulky jackets and boots in the middle of summer, because you can’t fit them in the suitcase.

6. Trying to be prepared for every possible contingency, including bikini weather and an Arctic Tundra situation.

7. Cunningly making more space in your bag by balling socks and stuffing them into tight spaces, then trying to decide what to fill the extra space with.

8. The potential to lose “high risk” items that might or might not be confiscated at security, like tweezers, nail clippers and your razor.

9. Taking a week to pack for a 3-day trip.

10. Leaving all your appliances until last and realizing you have to start again from scratch because your hair dryer doesn’t fit.

11. Getting to your destination to find they already have a hair dryer, and knowing you completely wasted the space you could have used for your strappy silver platforms.

12. Packing something at the bottom of your suitcase you intended to wear before you leave.

13. Not being able to pack your cat, or any other cherished pet.

14. Hearing a giant cracking noise when you’re sitting on your suitcase, trying to force it closed.

15. The one bottle of liquid that you always happen to leave slightly unscrewed even though you swear you checked it, that gets all over all your shit.

16. Deciding what pyjamas to take, even though you normally just sleep in a t-shirt, and ending up emptying a whole draw of never before worn pyjama Christmas presents into your suitcase.

17. The mandated one hundred thousand times you check your passport is in the pocket you put it in on the day you leave.

18. Knowing you can buy a new toothbrush if you forget yours, but losing sleep over remembering it anyway.

19. The dread you feel as you walk up to security at the airport, hoping that if you smile sweetly enough they wont notice the monster of a bag popping with clothes and hair things you’re struggling to drag along behind you.

20. Knowing that when you pack to come back home, even if you haven’t bought anything on your trip, your shit will definitely not fit back in your suitcase.