I have a dad and a step dad, but I guess in a sense they’re both my dad, which is sort of awkward, in its way. My step dad came into my life when I was a child, and I was lucky I got a good one. Here are some things I’ve learned in the 20-odd years he’s been in my life.

• Life changes that take you by surprise are terrible when you’re happy with the status quo
• Resenting someone who wants your approval only makes them be nicer to you
• Sharing mum is no fun
• Being a resentful, shitty child at a wedding will not, in fact, make that wedding stop
• Using birthday wishes to will your parents back together is futile and, in turn, a complete waste of birthday wishes
• Getting two new little brothers really makes for complicated birthday wishing, considering you want to keep them
• Persistence kindness toward me will wear me down
• I can also be worn down by being taught to ride bikes, swim, and do math
• Mum being happy makes me happy
• My biological father is not perfect
• No one is perfect
• Family is more than just a sperm and an egg
• Having two dads is better than having no dads
• Dads will normally side with you over mum, so now you have two allies when you’re asking to go to that party on Saturday night
• Being called ‘daughter’ consistently and in the company of strangers by someone you have not been particularly pleasant towards makes even the toughest disposition sweat with guilt
• Being loved by someone who doesn’t have to love you is sincerely humbling
• It’s very nice to have two wonderful men who love you unconditionally and unequivocally
• Accidentally calling step dad “dad” in front of biological dad is awkward
• Accidentally calling biological dad by step dad’s name is doubly awkward
• All dads, whether they’re yours by blood or marriage, are going to annoy you with the same moronic jokes
• All dads in turn think these jokes are funny
• Trying to figure out who is going to walk you down the aisle when you get married can be very consuming, even though you don’t have a boyfriend
• You can be overly demanding of men, but it’s only because you’ve been so blessed by the men who have raised you.