With all the hype surrounding Lana Del Rey right now there are a million and one questions rushing through my brain, primarily–is she a fairy? When “Video Games” moved something inside me, I was all like, “Yeah, I bet she’s totally a fairy.” Here are some more questions that have crossed my mind.
Is she magic?
Is she for real?
Is she actually authentic or is she just the product of a very well-hidden but awesome PR team?
Can one even be so amazing without being completely manufactured?
And if she is naturally that amazing, god damn her? (That wasn’t really a question, but I had to make it one because the whole premise of this article is asking questions)
Why am I not Lana Del Rey?
How does she get her hair to make those amazing, swoopy curls?
Was Lizzy Grant a closet Mouseketeer?
Was Lizzy Grant prom queen?
Do you think she was in beauty pageants?
Why is “Video Games” making me feel funny but good funny?
How is it that something stirs in everyone’s belly when they hear “Video Games”?
Has “Video Games” made Disney whimsy dark and relevant?
Do you think anyone in their right mind would actually reject Lana Del Rey?
Does anyone not love Lana Del Rey right now?
Does anyone not believe the hype around Lana Del Rey right now?
She’s pretty emo about her feelings–do you think she’d like to come and write for Thought Catalog?
Are you as annoyed as I am that she is both younger and way more awesome than everyone?
How many times and for how many songs can she make the same video before people get bored?
Are her lips real? (Don’t be righteous/ pretend you haven’t asked yourself the exact same thing)
Is she some secretly evil evangelist who believes in polygamy and hates gays?
Is she purposefully making me suspicious that she might be a hardcore evangelist because she’s actually a really savvy hipster who likes things likes “irony” and “postmodernism”?
Or has she just been watching too much True Blood?
Is Lana Del Rey glamouring us?
Do I watch too much True Blood?
Will we be able to survive if she doesn’t live up to the hype?
If a watched pot never boils, and Lana Del Rey is “the one to watch,” do you think she’ll ever boil?