Accurate Tourism Slogans For Several European Countries

Disclaimer: Inspired by Josh Gondelman. As such, these would all make terrible tourism slogans.

England: “Presenting Kate Middleton (and her sister’s ass)”

France: “Foux da fa fa”

Germany: “Our sausages are huge”

Belgium: “In Bruges”

Luxembourg: “The best things come in tiny packages”

Spain: “Our goalie is hotter than yours”

Portugal: “Better than Spain”

Italy: “Come see our priapic clown! (But stay for the gelato)”

Czech Republic: “Existential crisis? Apply within”

Denmark: “Lars Von Trier is not a Nazi sympathizer, we swear!”

Sweden: “Ikea”

Greece: “Never pay tax again”

Cyprus: “Two for the price of one!”

Slovenia: “To violent crime: Slovenia says NO! ”

Croatia: “Get ready to party; recover in Dubrovnik”

Romania: “We’re not Communist anymore, plus we have the world’s second largest building in square feet. Beat that”

Bulgaria: “The home of Ken Lee”

Montenegro: “That place James Bond went to once”

Albania: “Feel free to blood feud”

Turkey: “We’ll be part of the EU soon, promise” TC mark

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