Thought Catalog

The Ways In Which I Will Love You

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I will love you with everything I have. I may never be able to tell you how I feel, but I will love you with a heart possessed of lunatic fervency regardless. I will love you wildly and I will love you deeply. I will love you bodily. I will love you in a way that clicks in every step I take on the pavement, in a way that relieves me every time I scratch an itch, in a way that bounces back unruly every time I brush a fly away hair from my face. I will love you so much that some part of me will love you forever.

I will love you like family. I will love you unconditionally, and not just because you love me unconditionally. I will love you because of the years we’ve spent cradled in each other’s warm embraces, in each other’s tears and in each other’s laughter. I will love you so much I will challenge your perception of me everyday, and your understanding and persistence will make me love you more. I will love in a way that renders me silent when I want to scream; I will be stoic and hard when you need me to be, and I will never complain. I will be all the things you want me to be, and I will never fail to find my way to your side when you are calling for me. I will protect you with the violence of a madman, and I will willingly, nay, happily die for you, if only to see you smile. My heart will beat for you every single day, and even when we’re miles apart, I will love you unfalteringly. Sometimes, I will cry because I love you so much.

I will love you because I have to. Even though I don’t know you very well, you are part of me. Your blood is pulsing crimson in my veins; your small feet live tellingly at the ends of my short legs, which I believe are yours too. I will love you just as intensely as I would love anyone else, because you are my history. Without you I would not be me, and I will love you for that. I will love you mildly, rationally, and from a distance. But I will love you; in away that is less about you and more about us.

I will love you recklessly. I will love every little detail of you, the enlarged pores on your nose, the sprinkle of freckles across your cheek and the way you push your lips together and inhale deeply as you break in your storytelling. I will love you so much I will drink these details as though they were gloriously intoxicating, and I will etch them out in my mind and play them back to myself like old record when you’re gone. I will commit myself to you wholly; I will let you possess me. I will love you in such a way that parts of me will become you and I will hold on to those parts as though they were secrets whispered in gold.

I will love you as though you were the only person I’d ever loved. I will love you intensely, I will throw myself around you recklessly and if you love me back I will be humbled. I will love you so much I will try to be a better person every day. I will work harder, smile more, love better—all because of you. Despite this, the way I love you will be effortless, it will fit me like my summer skin, glowing in your presence. I will love you boundlessly and unselfishly, and my love will not be metered by your love for me. I will love you irrespective of everything.

I will love you fleetingly. I will love you in my bed for one night; I will love you for a few short days in Paris or a week in London. I will love you sitting on my stoop one drunken night. I will love you even if I never see you again, and I will love you just as passionately as I’ve ever loved, if only for a moment. I’ll recall you tenderly in the stories I will tell for the rest of my life, and I will love you retrospectively. I will love you like a ghost, like a flower that has bloomed and died; I will love you with an inconceivable abandon. I will love you as achingly and deeply as I can in the short amount of time we’ve been allotted.

I will love you in all these ways because I can. I will love you because it’s lovely to love you. I will love you because whether you are my mother, my best friend, the love of my life or a one-night stand, I think you’re perfect. I will love you because you’ve made my life more wonderful by simply being it. I will love you because I don’t know what else to do, and I don’t know if there is another name for this feeling, or if I really want there to be another name for it. I will love you because there isn’t enough love in the everyday. I will love you because I love loving, and because you deserve to be loved. TC mark

image – coolcal2111

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    • dude i dont know

      I found it hard to read after “I will willingly, nay, happily die for you, if only to see you smile.”

      Really? A death for a smile?

      • Shanaynay

        I found the “nay” to be more problematic.

        • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

          Every time I see a “nay” used like this in writing, I read it in Barney Stinson’s voice and that makes me feel okay.

          True story.

      • Shanaynay

        I found the “nay” to be more problematic.

      • Susiederkins

        I have admit, that part made me laugh a little. It reminds me of that god awful song that goes “I’ll catch a grenade for you.” Like I’ve heard someone else say “no, I will not catch a grenade for you. But I will push you out of the way if I see one coming. And do we live in a war zone??” 

    • ~**Sally Jenkins**~

      haha, methinks this spells the death of TC

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=704016484 Joe Ott

      The only criticism I can offer, dear girl, and I hope beyond hope it is a constructive one–from personal experience: people are going to read this, be enamored by the passion; but think that you love the concept of love, not the person or w/e its supposed to represent.

    • Kmcrouthamel

      Stop recycling livejournal entries. You should feel ashamed.

      • Anonymous

        lol

    • Kmcrouth

      Stop recycling livejournal entries here. You should feel ashamed.

    • ytrewq

      What’s up with all this corny shit on TC lately?

      Did I miss the memo about some sort of Twilight bash going on?

    • Guest

      I thought it was vulnerable. Honesty usually sounds corny, so fuck it. Good for you.

    • http://twitter.com/zeolitefuhrman Zeolite Fuhrman

      :

    • http://twitter.com/zeolitefuhrman Zeolite Fuhrman

      :

    • http://twitter.com/Dee_Robinson Danielle Robinson

      Um, I thought TC was all into submissions?  Seems like everything’s written by Kat and Ryan.

      This was underwhelming.

    • Anonymous

       I like Kat George, I like Chelsea Fagan, I LIKE most of the regular contributors. But SERIOUSLY.

      • Anonymous

         I like Chelsea Fagan, too! Tee hee.

        And I also liked this piece, made me swoon. But I probably would have hated it in January when I was single and depressed and hated relationships like a sorority that wouldn’t let me in.

    • Pfft

      You’re basically getting paid to write my LJ from nine years ago. You might be happy about this, but keep in mind, my LJ was really embarrassing. 

    • idealism makes you pretty

      i like this. even though it is corny, even though it is almost silly. i like this because i hope that everyone feels this way as deeply as i do. it may be naive or idealistic to hope such a thing, but honestly, i don’t give a shit. real-lief feelings right here. the only feeling i have been able to hold on to my whole life, the only feeling that didn’t pass with the moment, like my irritability or hopelessness, or hopefulness even. there isn’t anything wrong with loving, or letting the world know you love! thank you, TC.  

    • http://www.ateupindustries.com Butch Cassidy

      Brought tears to my eyes. You all are a bunch of nay sayers. Her description of her unfathomable love for love was so eloquently written.

    • Someone

      You’re kinda really wonderful

    • Jrein93

      What I love about this piece is that it is so heart-wrenchingly honest. We all feel this way sometimes, and even if we know it isn’t truly love per se, just the idea that maybe we feel this way (or even that maybe somewhere down the line we will feel this way) is enough. 

    • Guesty

      I hope to always love people reasonably.

    • London

      I would love to know which paragraph belongs to which person in Kat’s life. I found myself realizing that each paragraph was for a different person and I wondered and guessed who was for what. I love it because I can relate to it and I can hope that I will feel these different kinds of loves for people and that maybe they will love me back. I wonder if one of the ways she loves is for her readers, her fanbase, and the girls that just wish they could be friends with her.

    • http://twitter.com/bpnjelly Brady Plunger

      This piece made my heart beat so fast, like the way it does when I think of the boy that I love. Thank you Kat.

    • Ann Eve

      This made my heart sank in the best way possible. I hope I’m able to love like that one day.

    • Ann Eve

      This made my heart sank in the best way possible. I hope I’m able to love like that one day.

    • Alexihellokitty

      It’s crazy that you can love someone this way.  And so dangerous too. I related, thanks for this article. 

    • AL

      The paragraph that starts with, “I will love you fleetingly,” broke the shit out of my heart. It was so beautiful and true. Love your rawness and your edge, Kat.

    • Vianca Pandit

      My boyfriend sent me this link :)

    • vanessa

      i think its beautiful, honest, and a bit bold.

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