“Your Song” – Elton John
This sort of song choice is very well thought out, and normally accompanies a very well thought out relationship wherein the two parties to the relationship value compromise, respect and honesty. This couple is normally incredibly functional to the point where less functional couples use them as an aspirational yardstick. Not only has this couple perfected the art of communication; they love each other deeply and romantically, and are in it for the long haul. Spew.
See also: “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” by Manfred Mann, “I Got You Babe” by Sonny & Cher, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac.
“Stillness Is The Move” – Dirty Projectors
OMG this is the cutest little indie couple ever. They look like they belong in a Michael Cera movie except that they’re much less naff (even though they have matching thick-rimmed reading glasses and American Apparel t-shirts). This couple is sickly sweet—they go together like feta cheese and olives. They do things like split sandwiches, hold hands and ride matching bikes side by side. If you know a couple like this, you probably want to kill them because they’re so cute, much the same way you want to kill cute babies and kittens.
See also: “Where You Go” by Au Revoir Simone, “Anyone Else But You” by The Moldy Peaches, “Home” by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes, “VCR” by The XX
“Little Lion Man” – Mumford & Sons
This couple is riddled with issues and insecurities. The basis of their connection is a mutual love of drama, and it’s a passionate love. They’re always breaking up and getting back together, crying and screaming, proclaiming wild emotions and generally fucking things up. The relationship between these two is wrought in a constant state of conflict, and they’re self-indulgent enough to use that conflict as an explanation of what makes their love ‘unique’.
See also: “We Need A Resolution” by Aaliyah, “Lover You Should’ve Come Over” by Jeff Buckley, “Lovefool” by The Cardigans
“The Way You Look Tonight” – Frank Sinatra
Couldn’t come up with a song on your own, could you? This couple are in love with each other to an extent, but they’re more in love with the idea of being in love than they are with one another. They’ve become endeared to each other regardless (normally they adopt each other’s traits/ likes/ beliefs), but with such a tenuous connection they’re unsure of how to manifest their love so they turn to the tried and tested (normally soundtracks from movies about love). They’re the ultimate cliché, but they’re extremely committed and romantic, which, even in your unattractively obnoxious cynicism, sometimes gives your heart a reason to smile (secretly, of course).
See also: “A Whole New World” from the Aladdin soundtrack, “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, “Kissing You” by Des’ree, “All My Life” by KCi & JoJo
“Crush On You” – Aaron Carter
They either have an amazing sense of humor or they’re 12. Either way, they’re an amazing couple—whether it’s because they make each other laugh or because they’re in the first awakening of pre-pubescent love. Be jealous that they’re either that hilarious or that innocent. NOTE: This couple may actually be fully grown and not funny. In which case they may be 19 and married with kids, Born Again Christians, or from the suburbs.
See also: “Candy” by Many Moore, “I Think I’m In Love” by Jessica Simpson, “As Long As You Love Me” by Backstreet Boys
“Going Away To College” by Blink 182
This couple thinks it’s still the 90s—or at least they never escaped the self-awareness and earnestness of the decade that just won’t quit. They’re very serious about their feelings, and talk about them as if the very core of their existence is dependent on their love, and they really, genuinely, bottomlessly, mean it. It can be tiresome and sometimes cringe-worthy, but when everyone else is getting prison drunk and indulging in strings of meaningless one night stands, the fact that these two lovers have found each other and managed to stick together is pretty inspiring—even if it’s not the kind of love you’re looking for, you still find that it warms your cockles.
See also: “Redundant” by Green Day, “With Or Without You” by U2, “Wonderwall” by Oasis, “Untitled Track,” written and played by one half of the couple to the other.