An Open Letter To Girlfriend Guy: Please Stop Sexing Me With Your Eyes

Dear Guy,

I’m not going to lie; I liked it that time you eye-fucked me at the bar. When you walked past me in the street. When you were slamming away on the drums up on stage and my girlfriends squealed and squeezed my arm because they all knew you were looking at me. You’re really cute and I’m attracted to you—but you already know that because I was eye-fucking you back.

What I didn’t like was that as we were mentally undressing each other across the bar a girl sidled up next you and you put your arm around her, kissing her on the mouth before turning back to wink at me. She was your girlfriend, wasn’t she?

What I didn’t like was that as we caught eyes on the street you stopped by a beautiful young woman who was opening the door to her building and tapped her on her ass. While her attention was on turning the key in the lock you nodded at me as I averted my eyes. She was your girlfriend, wasn’t she?

What I didn’t like was that when I walked up to the stage and asked you to have a beer with me, you told me your girlfriend was there, but qualified it by adding that if she wasn’t you definitely would. I really didn’t like that at all. And I told you so; I told you what you should have said was “thanks, that’s very flattering but I have a girlfriend and she’s great.” What would your girlfriend have thought if she were privy to what you said to me? Or if she knew that while you had her arm around her, you were making covert glances across the room to where I was standing?

Contrary to what you might believe, I don’t need your sex eyes to validate me. Moreover, the fact that you have a girlfriend but are looking at me does not excite me—it does the opposite. It makes me think that you’re a giant, filthy pig. It makes me wonder what you would do if I pushed up against you in a dark corner when your girlfriend was at home. And when I think about what you might do, it makes me shudder.

None of it is a reflection on me—it doesn’t mean I am hot or special, I’m not a moron, I see right through all this eye-fucking. What it means is that you’re a dirty pervert. Or maybe you’re just unable to control your innate sleaze. You’re eye-fucking all the girls, I can see that too. Are you hedging your bets, or are you just that into yourself that you think all these girls want to go home with you? Is the beautiful woman laughing there, innocently by your side, not enough for you?

What’s your problem, guy?

I know attached people often look at other people—hell, I’ve done it. But there’s a difference between a casual glance at an attractive person and violating them completely with the salaciousness of your glare while your partner is only steps away. And there’s a definite difference between treating that moment like the inconsequential fantasy it is and something that you may physically indulge in if your partner wasn’t there.

So please. If your girlfriend is an amazing entity who has been sucked into your piggish world by some freak accident then do her the service you owe her and either let her move on to bigger and better things, or start treating her with the respect she deserves. If your girlfriend is a total heinous bitch and you’re genuinely unhappy, just get out of there brother, because all this eye-fucking is viciously untoward and it’s making you look like a tool.

If you were my boyfriend I’d kick you in the nuts, and I wouldn’t be gentle about it. In fact, next time you look at me like that, I might just kick you in the nuts anyway.

Love always,

Kat. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/iamahmad Ahmad Radheyyan

    Thanks for posting this. Once I see that guy, I’m going to kick his ass for being a douchebag, and possibly breaking his girlfriends heart.

    • Guest

      UHHHH. if the girl is aware of it, it’s her problem, not the guy’s..

  • Guest

    Kat, you get more and more easy to dislike every day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    The problem? Problem is that people like me are delusional

  • Guest

    The girlfriend should know better. Either that, or she is okay with it, so who cares? Not your problem.

  • Anonymous

    Dirty pervert for a flirtatious glance? Seems harsh.

  • http://staugustinian.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

    The guy was probably thinking: “She is an ‘attractive person’ and I am ‘violating’ her ‘completely with the salaciousness’ of my glare because her ‘large breasts’  probably  ‘sit upright without a bra, although one is a little bit lopsided.’ ”

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      Beautiful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      Beautiful.

    • Guest

      For someone so prepared to hate and negatively comment on practically all of Kat George’s articles, you do seem to spend an inordinate amount of time a) reading them b) commenting on them and saying just how bad you think they are and c) committing large chunks of them to memory/going back to reading more articles just so that you can quote them.
      And if you can honestly say that you “just happened to remember them”, well clearly her writing isn’t as bad as you say it is. At least it IS thought-provoking/worth remembering.

      • http://staugustinian.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

        Hey Guest: upgrade to Windows 95 and you can “copy” and “paste”, too!  Also, when writing is *this* shitty, there’s a certain appeal to bashing it relentlessly… sorry!

      • http://staugustinian.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

        “For someone so prepared to hate and negatively comment on practically all of Kat George’s articles…”

        I’ve commented on 4 or 5 of Kat’s TC articles. She has written 56, 708 TC articles.  Do the math!

  • Guest

    This is a clever attempt for you to call yourself attractive. Come on now.

  • Guest

    I love this…and agree with the whole thing…great articles lately! Kudos.

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      Has Kat created herself a Guest account?  I’d do the same thing. 

  • Guest

    I love this…and agree with the whole thing…great articles lately! Kudos.

  • A D L

    your ego is quite a behemoth, that tends to squash everything you write

  • Guest

    the girlfriend is a) cheating or b) doesn’t care. So, why do you care? That is the real question.

  • klaus

    If you don’t want to be eye-raped then stop dressing like a slut.

    • Megan

      I hope this isn’t serious

      • klaus

        Ugh.

         Which part of the term “eye-rape” seemed serious to you?

      • http://staugustinian.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

        A Gay fellow tried to “eye-rape” me recently so I “eye-cock-blocked” him, saving my “eye-virginity”. And yes it was “serious”.

  • Marianela D'Aprile

    this was great. you are way on your game today. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/nattusmith Natt Smith

    Overconfidenceitis 

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      If it makes you feel good, if I were umm…attracted to the fairer sex…I’d be eye fucking your Facebook photos right now.  Yes, I’m a creeper, and, yes, you’re an attractive girl. 

  • Megan

     this made me SO SAD

  • http://staugustinian.wordpress.com/ STaugustine

    Thought Catalog: sucks you in with the Douglas Lain articles, then addicts you to heaping scorn upon horrendously juvenile filler. Clever!

    • xra

      omg that’s how it happened

  • Juliahobbs

    ugh shut up. write something useful. this blog is seriously getting cluttered with fucking 24 year old angst.

    • klaus

      Right? way too much angst.

  • Anonymous

    So far we’ve gotten detailed accounts of your relationships, your fabulous travels, things you do when you are bored in your room, your mustache, the gross things you do, each part of your body, and now– how dudes won’t stop hitting on you (even if they have a GF!). 
    Seems like your favorite subject is you. You are your own muse.

    • klaus

      right what you know about.

      • klaus

        (write)

    • http://twitter.com/jkymarsh J. Ky Marsh

      Just made this identical comment on Twitter. Every single one of her pieces is about herself.

  • Juliahobbs

    albeit i agree with you. but guys like that aren’t stories. unless you want to brag. you tell your best fiend and you tell yourself. and that is it. douchebag with a girlfriend is not worth a story. he knows he is a douchebag and if not, he won’t ever.

  • http://twitter.com/gagopolis Allan Policarpio

    These things probably didn’t event happen. Yes guys, keep on snatching Kat’s wig!

  • oh girl

    You are a living, breathing humblebrag hashtag. 

  • A.

    Apparently I’m going to be one of the few to disagree. I liked this, quite a bit. Yes, I can see how it could easily come across as a thinly-concealed attempt to brag about how attractive she is, but I think she made a point of stating that wasn’t the case. I’ve been in this position more times than I care to remember, and it’s hard to shake the sleazy feeling afterward.

    • Guest

      What? seriously? she is so into herself, it’s insane. read her other articles and then you will understand why it is definitely an attempt to brag..

    • Guest

      What? seriously? she is so into herself, it’s insane. read her other articles and then you will understand why it is definitely an attempt to brag..

  • Sam.S

    It’s weird how some of you think you can determine the content standard of ‘thought catalogue’–if you have a problem with what’s written, why don’t you go start your own brilliant, thought provoking, and mind-blowing blog, that we all know you’re not capable of anyway since everything that comes out of your mouths is negative and mean. blahh.

    This was an article and I read it. It made me think of the way people communicate with their eyes and how eye dialogue is part of so many human exchanges (ie. Courtship). The end.

  • Guest

    Okay, what is the point of this article? A lot of guys are sleazy. There are plenty of men in relationships who don’t “eye fuck” people in public, but still go home and masturbate and fantasize about other women privately. Which is worse, really? Both are very sleazy. Men are just..men. End of story.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1183680010 Samuel Walker

      Yeah, “private, discrete fantasy is horrible and needs to be purged from your mind.” Glad I am not dating you, guest.

  • Guest

    Okay, what is the point of this article? A lot of guys are sleazy. There are plenty of men in relationships who don’t “eye fuck” people in public, but still go home and masturbate and fantasize about other women privately. Which is worse, really? Both are very sleazy. Men are just..men. End of story.

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