10 Lessons As Sung By Ja Rule

1. “Mix gin with a little cocaine, you got me”

Ja knows how to party, so take heed.

2. “Every thug needs a lady”

Behind every great man, there is a great lady. In this case, it’s Charli Baltimore—a woman willing to do hard jail time for Ja’s indiscretions (but it’s OK because he totally pimps out her cell and makes sure she has cigarettes, drugs, hair dye and protection while she’s in there, proving that on the flipside, every lady needs a thug).

3. “And they say I’m lucky; you think I got time to fuck all these hoes and do all these shows?”

It’s pretty difficult to balance a successful career with frequent sex, even if you are a rap legend—hard work is hard work, and even if it means you’re happy, fulfilled by your job and a completely balling, everything comes with a downside, namely, an ailing libido.

4. “Thug style, you never thought I’d make you smile, while I’m smackin’ your ass and fuckin you all wild”

Filthy sex is fun. Even if you think you won’t like it, you probably will. Get freaky because those endorphins are going to have you glowing for a week afterwards.

5. “Cause we’ve been through the worst times and the best times, but it was our time, even if it was part-time”

Ja also likes saying “love is pain,” and to an extent, it’s true. Forget sugarcoated pop love—love is about compromises, anger, screaming and sadness as much as it is about romance, happiness and puppy dogs. Take the good with the bad, because all of it is what makes you, as a couple, stronger, closer and ultimately better. And you never really know a person until you’ve fought with them—the way someone deals with conflict is a definitive element in any relationship.

6. “You could die from love, at any given time I could die from slugs, but that’s what this life is capable of”

Live it up. Any moment could be the last one—you are going to die. See #1.

7. “What do you do – when niggas spit at you?! Clap back, we gon’ clap back.”

I think if someone spat on me I’d either punch them in the face or cry, or both, but I digress. What Ja is trying to say is that if a hater is going to get all up in your grill you should get straight back up in theirs. Holla.

8. “But the brightest of days just look dim, when you fuckin’ with a loser, baby, you can’t win”

Whether it’s a dirt bag, a toxic friend or a job you hate—it only takes one part of your life to make the rest look like a steaming pen of pig shit. Cut the crap, get with Ja—just don’t waste your time with anyone or anything subpar, because it will permeate to soil all the wonderful things in your life.

9. “Grippin the sheets, lookin at me lickin at me, ‘cause every woman just wanna be happy”

Ja knows women want, nay need, to cum too. Chances are if you haven’t had an orgasm in a while you’re feeling a bit cranky, or a bit blue. Ja understands you, and he’s here to help.

10. “They cool but they ain’t R.U.L.E”

You’re alright. But you’re no Ja. TC mark

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  • http://twitter.com/HipsterFriend HipsterFriend

    Just finished “On Wanting To Be A Writer.” The contrast is enormous. Jus’ sayin’.

  • Anonymous

    I just remembered in that one video he’s eating that huge ass bowl of cereal and it made me so hungry.

  • cecile

    As soon as I read ‘Ja Rule’ in the title, I just /knew/ Kat would be behind this.. 

  • http://twitter.com/steviekew Stevie Kew

    I love these types of articles.  There aren’t enough Wu-related articles. (ALSO – Ghostfunk. Look into that. Ghostface with a side of funk?)

    • Anonymous

      Ja Rule wasn’t in the Wu-Tang clan you silly goose.

      • http://twitter.com/steviekew Stevie Kew

        Oh yes, I know that. Just poor, poor sentence structure/lack of separation of thought. This sentence is bad, too.

        I love these types of articles.
        There aren’t enough Wu-related articles…[+]

  • To

    ja rule is reading this in prison & smiling at you right now :)

  • To

    ja rule is reading this in prison & smiling at you right now :)

  • Kim Windyka

    awesome. but lest we not forget another great ja lesson, “money over bitches…(murder I-N-C)”.

  • Chase V

    terrrible. im sorry but put alittle bit more effort into your writing, copy and paste with an attempt at humor is just lack of effort. and on top of it all…ja rule isnt even a good rapper

  • http://twitter.com/artipatel Arti Patel

    is it sad i remember some of these lyrics?

  • jack

    FREE JA RULE

  • Margaret

    who cares, this is brilliant. who knew Ja could be so deep, many years later after he is no longer culturally relevant, ITS MURDAAAAAAAAH!

  • sigh

    I sure as hell hope you are not paid to write such drivel

  • Brianne

    Ja Rule = my childhood fav (HELLO! HIS COLLABO w/ MARY J BLIGE!?), until I jumped on the 50 bandwagon and switched sides like a true tween follower. Needless to say, I know all these songs and find your ten lessons brilliant. 

    every lady soooo does need a thug.

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