How To Eat Vegemite Like An Aussie (Fair Dinkum!)

Non-Australians take heed—Vegemite is actually delicious, despite what you may think. Recently my American housemate sampled some of my Vegemite while I was out of the house, and she hated it. When I quizzed her about how she had eaten it I was horrified to hear that she didn’t layer it with margarine, nor did she toast her bread. But I was mostly horrified that she had wantonly wasted my precious Vegemite.

“That’s not how you do it!” I screamed at her, cheeks turning rosy (rosy, not red, because I’m a happy little Vegemite, as bright as bright can be!).

The thing is, there’s an art to Vegemite eating. It’s an acquired taste, yes, but you can make that acquisition a lot quicker if you DO IT RIGHT. So here’s a few tips for eating Vegemite like an Aussie. Not an Australian – an Aussie. There’s a difference.

The Bread

The bread is the canvas for your artwork—it’s as important as the application of the Vegemite itself. You can use any kind of bread—white, sourdough, wholegrain, multi—Vegemite tastes good on everything, with one exception—sugar bread. I had a horrible experience upon first moving to New York when I bought a loaf of bread that I assumed was exactly the way I was used to it, unfamiliar with the high sugar content in the run-of-the-mill loaf. Now, let me tell you—Vegemite does NOT taste good on sugary bread. Think of sugary bread as Angelina—you don’t want to bring her around your beautiful husband (Vegemite) because she WILL corrupt him.

The Margarine

You want to use margarine—butter works too but it’s not as good. I like to use an olive oil based margarine but it’s much of a muchness really, just make sure you use a real margarine, none of this “I Can’t Believe It’s Not What It Actually Is” shit. The most important part of the margarine spreading is to be gratuitous—slather it on in a thick, heavy layer, and be sure to go all the way to the crust.

The Vegemite

This is the tricky part—you need to let the margarine melt a little bit, but not all the way before you start spreading the actual Vegemite. You want to apply it unevenly—in some areas let you knife skim the bread lightly, leaving an almost translucent layer. You want to make sure the thickly applied areas are minimal if you’re new to this so hold your knife as delicately as you imagine Monet held is brush when painting light (because this is basically the same thing, only what you’re doing requires much more skill).

The Other Stuff

Not for noobs. You want to save the other stuff until you’re comfortable with your Vegemite application and you not only enjoy the salty, yeasty black stuff, but you’re actually craving it. Us Aussies like to slap a few slices of cheddar cheese on our Vegemite toast, and the truly adventurous will go as far as spreading a layer of avocado or sliced apple over the top. I once saw my little brother spread his Vegemite toast with a layer of sweet chilli sauce. The next day it was a layer of smoked salmon. Bless his cotton socks. TC mark

image – Andrew B

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  • Dan

    It needs to be said: Vegemite is delicious on non-toasted bread as well.  And the best bit: licking it off the knife.

  • http://twitter.com/Sscottie Scott Lewis

    it's great on crackers too, at school we used to get two crackers; the ones with the holes, with a layer of margerine and vegemite and then squeeze the crackers together so you get vegemite margerine worms

    • Maggie

      Gold. So much gold – the squeeze was my favourite part.

    • Pfft

      saos

  • Natalie

    Oh god now I'm craving vegamite… Where do they sell it in new york anyway? I swear I'd be willing to go into QUEENS to get some.

    • http://www.jkk.name Jono

      There is a place called the Tuck shop that sells it (of course it isn't cheap…) I've also seen it in other specialty stores (e.g. in the 'british' section of Berkeley Bowl out here on the west coast).

    • Pfft

      buy it online. my mum tried to mail me some, and they fucking confiscated it! fascists

  • CL

    i love marmite vegemite whatever its called in whichever part of the world..

    • Grace

      A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES! Marmite is an abomination, Vegemite on the other hand is the spread of the gods.

      • Pfft

        omg grace!

      • Pfft

        marmite sucks yeah. but grace jones?

  • eferf45
  • Sandra

    what is sugary bread?

    vegemite, avacado and tomato 

    • Maggie

      I think sugar bread is when you butter the untoasted bread, then put sugar on it. 

      Whatever – fairy bread all the way!!!

  • Riss_j

    And don't forget to put it on your toast under scrambled eggs. Delish!!

  • Rachel Brodsky

    I had an Australian roommate a few years ago and had a similar gross-out experience after she offered me a bite of her Vegemite. Then she went on to make the same exact argument–your Vegemite is only as good as the stuff you pair it with. 

    I still choose Nutella, though :)

  • Elle

    I can acquire a taste for shit, too, but that doesn't mean it's good.

  • Joe

    SO very very true. I'm an American recently turned onto vegemite out of sheer curiosity. The stores near me sell both Vegemite and Marmite and i've had both. Vegemite is the winner by a HUGE margin. I force it on all my friends and family now. Best spread ever.

  • http://twitter.com/taylafederer Tayla Dam

    hahah the best bit about this is the americans not knowing what sugary bread is. american bread tastes like cake

  • http://twitter.com/taylafederer Tayla Dam

    sugary bread is your standard american loaf of bread

  • Pfft

    blah blah, you're “i'm aussie” shit is getting boring.

    the only way to convert americans to vegemite is vegemite on good 'french' bread with melted cheese on top.
    sorted.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jade.orlich Jade Mitchell

      She's a great writer – if you know you won't enjoy the subject matter, why do you read the article (and not stopping there) and comment on it?

      Just don't read it – no one wants to hear how unsatisfied you are with her writing.

      • Pfft

        actually, she's a boring fucking writer, and nobody wants to read her writing full stop. Which is why she is sharing her dull adolescent thoughts on Thought Catalog, and clogging it up with bullshit.

      • Pfft

        i was interested in the subject matter- i'm fucking australian.

      • Dee

        @Pfft I AM SO ON BOARD WITH YOU FUCK TEECEE

  • Pfft

    i meant your.

    that will teach me to comment drunk.

  • Sara

    mm tiger toast. i smashed this today for breakfast.

  • http://twitter.com/and_susan Susie Anderson

    aw. im an aussie n i dnt liek vegemite =(

  • Charles Reinhardt

    I myself am a Marmite lover (Irish mother).

  • djlynt

    As an Aussie trying to convert the Yanks into Vegemite, this may do the trick. Fools be putting it on donuts and shit.

    • Pfft

      lies! nobody does that

      • Djlynt

        Looks like nutella. Boy do they learn quick.

  • what!

    How could you not mention vegemite on sao biscuits. Shame.

  • Anny-ooo

    Have just received my 1st vegemite pot from aussie mate… Honestly, i prefer this one than marmite.
    And user it with buttered toast… Awesome, now try with cheddar and next time your stuff :-)

  • http://www.backpackways.com/australian-food-guide-7-must-eat-dishes-why-you-should-try-them/ Australian Food Guide: 7 Must-Eat Dishes & Why You Should Try Them - backpackways.com

    […] say you’ve been to Australia unless you try it. It’s made of various vegetables, and it’s mostly eaten on bread with butter. Some also like it with avocado, cheese, or tomato, but that’s for more experience vegemite […]

  • https://remit.com.au/the-filipino-migrants-guide-to-eating-vegemite/ The Filipino Migrant's Guide to Eating Vegemite | Remit to the Philippines

    […] There is an art to eating Vegemite. Sure, it’s an acquired taste, but one you can acquire much faster if you do it properly (i.e., like a true Aussie). […]

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