1. That the pain doesn’t end after the baby is out. Commence the afterbirth, nurses pushing on your uterus, more contractions to heal the uterus, and the glorious reconstruction of your va-jay-jay. (If you happen to tear)
2. That you will feel guilty about using the hospital nursery. Of course it’s there for a reason but am I a bad mom if I send my daughter there for the night? (P.S. Of course not, you just had a human being literally come out of you)
3. You will go home in diapers and wear diapers for 4-6 weeks. It’s like, “Hey you don’t have to have a period for 9 months but, BAM! Here ya go! Did ya miss me?!
4. Going home is so anticipated but so scary. It’s when reality sets in, the texts and social media “likes” die down, others go back to work, and you are left alone and responsible for this little, innocent, human being.
5. The baby blues are so real! The first week you will go from being “on top of the world” one minute to wondering how you will possibly manage to do all of this the next. I remember crying every time I saw Mark and being jealous that I wasn’t his “favorite girl anymore”. Your hormones are running wild! I wish someone would have told me it was normal to not feel ok right away.
6. You will feel guilt constantly. Guilt about getting frustrated or needing a break. Guilt about just wanting to watch reality TV for an hour. Guilt about not focusing on your partner enough, guilt about not breastfeeding, even guilt about your baby being a good baby! (Like why did I deserve such a good child and *Tammy’s baby stays up all night?) Guilt is inevitable and will become one of your constant emotions right along side “hanger.”
7. Your friends without kids will still be your friends but it won’t be exactly the same. This speaks for itself. They will love you always but you can’t day drink (or night drink for that matter) as freely and openly as you once could.
8. You fear your own death more than ever before. Excuse me for being blunt and morbid but everything is scary now because you are a mom. Flying? Panic Attack. Walking the streets at night? Panic Attack. The thought of leaving your child and not watching them grow up is agonizing and if you aren’t careful it will try to overcome you. Like what if my S.O. starts dating *Patrice and she has to be my baby’s new mom. No. Screw you, Patrice!
9. Worse than #8: You will fear for your child’s safety constantly.Whether it be checking them multiple times during the night to make sure they are still breathing or calling the pediatrician for every tiny thing that seems just the slightest bit “off”, their existence becomes your reason for existence.
10. You will be given lots of unsolicited advice and comments. Respect your elders and blah blah blah but this is your child in the long run. Do what you and your partner believe is best for him or her and understand that more often than not that the advice comes from a good place whether or not you agree with it.
11. It is absolutely ok to want time away from your baby. Oh yeah it is! Even a trip to the grocery store is a nice breather! Wanting and needing these moments alone does not make you a bad parent! I used to feel guilty when Moms said, “Oh I could never leave my baby alone!” Or “I missed them the whole time!” But the reality is, you need time for yourself and for you and your partner to reconnect and/or strengthen your post-baby relationship.
12. You will never have your exact pre-baby body. That’s not to say you can’t have a body that is better or just as good but it will never be “the same”. Thank you science! Your hips will widen, you may have stretch marks, and cellulite will hang around more frequently and willingly. No matter what the result is, your body is beautiful and grew and gave life. It may take time to accept it and that is ok too!
13. And finally, how much you will love them. You hear it all over! You hear it from your mom and her mom and her mom before her and from all the other moms in your life but you cannot believe it until you live it. The love you have for them is overwhelming. So much so that it actually hurts. Your heart throbs and your eyes well up and with every passing day you love this tiny being more and more and more than you ever thought possible. Of all things that I wish I was more prepared for this is it. I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love my daughter and the emotions that would come as a result. But everyday I thank God I was chosen to be her Mommy and I promise to love her unconditionally always.