21 Things I’ve Learned From Having A Brother

1. Playing who-hates-the-other-more was actually really time-consuming. We should’ve been ganging up on mom and dad instead.

2. The addiction of N64, Mario Kart, and Xbox is real.

3. Claiming you’re adopted in order to get mom and dad’s attention more doesn’t really hold much ground.

4. Hitting on and/or dating your sibling’s friend(s) does not end well 99% of the time.

5. How to build the Taj Mahal of all forts .

6. Always have a camera handy for when your brother decides to straighten his hair on a dare.

7. Blackmail goes a long way when you need something.

8. There are loopholes to sneaking in and out of the house.

9. Privacy is sacred.

10. Importance of Pedialyte when hungover.

11. How to be an only slightly shitty female driver.

12. The second child can get away with murder.

13. Having a sibling on a sports team can work in your favor (see #6).

14. Being teased is a form of initiation to the group.

15. Having a pair of balls to withstand said teasing is only way to survival.

16. Wide variety of ways to use curse words.

17. Frat houses are where dignity and cleanliness go to die.

18. Never trust George McPhee.

19. Prometheus is the worst movie ever made.

20. One shall never reveal childhood nicknames.

21. Food allergies get you a lot of free meals.