Letting go and moving on is something that you choose to do every single day of your life. It’s something that you choose, every single moment.
It’s not just a feeling, or a decision. It is a deliberate action. Because look at it this way: You cannot say you’ve let go, or you’ve moved on, and still allow yourself to always think of the person you’re moving on from in the first place. You cannot say you let go when your heart actually still beats three times faster when you see them enter a room, or when they come up to you and talk to you to tell you, “Hey, you look good.”
But you see, these things will happen. You’re always going to think about them. You’re always going to miss them. You’re always going to long for them. And maybe a part of you will always, always love them.
But whenever these things — or setbacks — happen, don’t get mad at yourself. Don’t think for a second that you’re failing at letting go or moving on. Don’t call yourself weak. Don’t call yourself a failure. Be kind to yourself.
See, the thing is, these things take time. Letting go takes time. Moving on takes time. You can’t automatically stop caring for that person just because you’ve decided to let go of them.
Wounds take time to heal.
Hearts take time to mend.
Love takes time to pass.
But you have to take conscious efforts to get yourself out of that dark pit you’ve fallen into when you got your heart broken.
Yes, you’re going to think about them. When you do, you have to think about something else.
Yes, you still love them. But you have to enjoy and savor the other things you love.
And yes, you were happy when you were with them. But you have to remember other things that made you happy, because if you were once happy before you met them, then you can certainly still be happy even without them.
Letting go and moving on is not a one-time thing. It’s a process. A long, painful, agonizing process. And you’re going to fail sometimes. You’re going to hurt most of the time. You’re going to cry, and then heal, and then maybe cry again when your paths cross accidentally or intentionally.
But you’re always going to have to stand up again after each failure. You have to get strong again after each display of weakness. You have to soldier on, no matter how hard, because you are not your heartbreak. You cannot let that heartbreak define you.
You have to use the pain to turn you into a better person. And you have to take away every single lesson you can take from the experience, because you wouldn’t want to put all of those go to waste.
You didn’t get your heart broken so you could turn into a bitter, angry person. You got your heart broken so you could become stronger, so you could develop the emotional and spiritual muscles you’re going to need for when the right love comes along.
So, hey. To the person who’s moving on, be kind to yourself, okay?