I know that you think you fall in love with the wrong people.
I know that you let your bedsheets collect cascades of tears.
I know you try to swallow the sobs before they escape your parted bleeding lips.
I know that the reason you keep your phone by your side at all times is because you are unshakably waiting that that it will ring – that it will block out the traffic of stubborn hoping thoughts.
I know you hope that your mom doesn’t here you grieve – she worries way too much.
I know that you sacrifice everything for friendships.
I know you think you won’t make it, but you have to. You have to do it because all these people you fall for hopelessly bring out everything that is right about you. They bring out the child inside, the one who hopes and hopes and hopes.
I know that hoping more often than not brings back all the aches that you keeping digging graves for. But you know, once in a while, once in a blue moon, hope may surprise you. And you better live for that day.
For that night, you have to stay.
In all hoping, in loving, in caring, in aching, you have learned the greatest lesson of life — unconditional love is unhinged and daunting, but it’s worth it.
And yes, your love may never be reciprocated but that just means that everything that burns in you for others will burn through you.
It will ignite a spirit for others to marvel at.
You will light up as a volcano on a foggy night.
You will survive because love for others starts a roaring passion for a future, for tomorrow, for your own magnificent tragic love story – a story of forgiveness and grace.
Believe me, I know. I keep doing it even when I know I shouldn’t.