We can’t deny it: Love is indeed the most beautiful feeling. But it’s so beautiful that we let it consume us and let it hold power over us. It makes us vulnerable and gullible to lies that often convince us to step on our worth and settle for less. They’re the lies that mask complacency as true love. The lies that tell us to stop waiting for the right one because we thought we should be happy with a dull, heartrending situation. So what are those lies we tell ourselves? Let me specify them one by one:
“Constant effort in loving will change them.”
To be clear, this applies if the person you are with has the habit of hurting you. You cannot change them, but you can inspire them to be better. If they don’t consider the effort of becoming better for you, then stop wasting your time for them.
“There’s no need for them to say sorry.”
Just because we love someone doesn’t mean they don’t owe any apology for the wrong things they do. In fact, it’s the least way to make up for something. Let’s not feed their pride.
“Love entails both forgiving and forgetting.”
Forgiving is an essential part of love, but I don’t think forgetting is. Maybe it can work at first, but if a wrong thing keeps repeating itself because we don’t keep in mind how painful it’s been, we must get rid of this principle.
“It’s true love when we keep on pleasing them.”
Okay, but make sure it’s a mutual belief. If you’re the only one exerting efforts or giving what they want, then it’s toxic. It’s cute to spoil the person we love, and sometimes, it doesn’t matter if we get shortchanged. But it should not be a long-term situation. Our efforts should be reciprocated.
“Love is blind.”
This is one of the most hackneyed beliefs. There’s also one that says, “Love sees but doesn’t mind.” Well, they are also often misunderstood. I want to agree with loving despite the imperfections, especially if it pertains to the physical aspect. But for the bad manners, the intentional mistakes, the recurring pain they cause, please let us not be okay with them. As I said in the first point, we can inspire them to change. We can encourage them. We should still have the ability to point out the wrongs and help them with becoming better. If it seems hopeless, I hope you allow yourself to be free and wait for the right one. Or to be free and enjoy your very own solitude.