I bet you are one of the people who made tremendous plans for 2018. You probably made plans to save money or invest it into something very beneficial in the future. Plans to get a toned physique or at least to shed some pounds. Plans to travel to the most wonderful places. Plans to reconcile and confess. To settle down. To go to a graduate school. Or plans to pursue and work on your passion. Your dainty planner must have been full of both short- and long-term to-do lists and your calendar must have been replete with schedules.
But here you are, sighing and saying, “I didn’t make it—again.”
That’s absolutely fine.
It is indeed disappointing to let the year just pass by without achieving the goals we had in place. It shrinks our self-esteem, our confidence, our reliability. It makes us doubt our self-discipline. It makes us wonder if our passion and dreams are truly for us. It even gives us the feeling that our life may actually be pointless, with no significant directions to follow.
I know that you want to slap your own face for allowing so many years to just come and go without achieving something colossal, something that you can really be proud of. I know that it just pinches your heart to see your Facebook friends’ posts about their great achievements this year, while you are just sitting there wondering when will you ever be someone like them.
December is always the month where you will either celebrate or curse yourself, because it’s the time when you’ll recall if you have carried out your plans or not. Perhaps some of them were achieved, perhaps none at all. And right now I can hear you blaming yourself for all the excuses you’ve made. But let me tell you this, it’s not all because of your excuses.
We are not fortune tellers who can determine what will disrupt our plans or make our life’s direction go awry. We cannot act as robots operated by our planners, calendars, or Post Its. We cannot just make our lives organized enough to tick off every fucking thing on a bucket list. No matter how much effort we exert to turn our plans into reality, they can always be affected by situations we cannot anticipate or control.
If you feel like you wasted all of your 2018, just think of the good things that happened. The ones that were not part of the plan but still took place because God knew you deserved them. Think of all the little achievements and the serendipity of learning new things that made you a better, wiser person. Think of those times in the year when you finally let go of unimportant people and welcomed new, better ones. Take a look at the materials you were able to purchase because you worked hard for them. Browse the photos that serve as mementos of all the awesome experiences you’ve had this year.
There is so much to be thankful for and to be proud of despite the hanging plans. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow because you never know, the current may be leading you to where you are supposed to bloom and thrive. Life is full of surprises and hence it’s okay to make plans and to fail to make them happen, because it’s most likely the point where we’ll realize what’s for us and what’s not. You didn’t actually waste the year because here you are, remaining alive and positive as you anticipate better things.
Maybe in this coming year, 2019, all you need to do is face every uncertainty instead of planning the big things ahead. It doesn’t make you someone careless about their future. Rather, it makes you brave and wise enough to face life’s thrilling spontaneity.