She’s moody. She’s always sick. Always hungry and craving, but mad because she knows she can’t just eat what she wants. There are times she’s feeling too dejected, other times too elated. There are times you really can’t understand her vibes and everything that runs in her mind. But if you just look deeply through her eyes, you’ll know she’s just hiding her sorrows and insecurities behind every beautiful smile she randomly flashes. You’ll know how she struggles with her flawed feminine functions. How she persists with the discomfort of having that hormonal imbalance. How she deals with chronic pain in every part of her body.
You’ll know how scared she is by the fact it’s difficult for her to conceive.
And that’s the worst pain she’s bearing. She’s always thinking about it. Always thinking about you. About your future. Together.
She is scared to lose you because of her bodily imperfections. She actually doesn’t give herself the false hope that you’ll be able to fully accept her AND her condition. She is bracing herself for the heartache. For the disenchantment you’ll feel towards her. And she knows she can’t blame you.
Will he be able to wait?
Does he see the ways I make to get rid of my condition?
How long can he support me through this?
Will he look for somebody else better?
Those are the thoughts that she’s dwelling on whenever you catch her staring at you. The questions that often play around her mind. But hey, her heart is also brimming with gratitude for having you!
I hope you stay by her side. Support her in her fight. Trust her when she says she’s doing everything not only for her sake but also for yours. I hope you don’t get tired of her. I hope you cheer her up whenever she feels hopeless. Don’t lose the sight of your future being together. Be the one who emotionally heals her. Be the one who first understands her swings. Pray for and with her. Don’t pressure her on getting better because PCOS is not a petty condition to deal with. You know it almost takes a woman’s lifetime to prevent its symptoms and, if she’s lucky enough, to totally get rid of it.
I hope you see the truth that she’s a wonderful woman despite her condition. Be reminded that her body, her hormones, her anxiety, her ability to conceive don’t determine her worth.
Please bear with her. Love her unconditionally, continually.
Because if not for the love she feels you, she’d most likely given up a long time ago.