Because the moment you left, she also got rid of the biggest flaw in her life.
Tonight in her bed, she remembers everything about the two of you. Her pillow has become damp with her mascara-stained tears. The back of her hands has been smudged with seemingly blood creams from her rarely used bold lipstick. And her iron-curled silky hair has gone unkempt since your last face-to-face conversation. A sad, intense conversation.
As she weakly lies on the edge of the bed, she wears a beautiful cerulean gown embellished with delicate details on which you complimented her, and she delightfully inhaled the flattery because she was thinking it reminded you of her—perfect.
Awe-inspiring. One of a kind. Irreplaceable.
All these were just senseless assumptions. She woke up to that painful truth when you told her, right on your supposedly romantic dinner date, that you had to end it because you’d fallen out of love.
Because she was no longer the apple of your eye.
Because she didn’t attract you anymore.
Because you got tired finding perfection in her.
She thought that using all these cosmetics that masked her paleness and blemishes could always turn you on. She thought that removing her body hair would magnetize your hand to caress her with so much passion. She thought that adorning herself with jewelries and chic fashion would keep your eyes only on her.
She thought that making herself a different person would make you stay in her life. But it turned out they were just lies whispered by her lavish love for you.
Her tears that keep on gushing out are also dissolving her masking makeup, and she is slowly turning back to who she really is—simple, imperfect. But true. There is a battle between pain and comfort going on in her heart. Pain, because you broke her. And comfort, because finally she can be herself again.
Thank you, because you emancipated her from all this disguise. Thank you, because you taught her that feigning perfection will never be enough for a discontented, immature boy.
I hope that as you search for those perfect girls whom you are willing to replace her with, you also find pure hearts. I hope you end up catching a really perfect girl who doesn’t need makeup, braces, lotion, or salons. Someone who doesn’t have a bad breath in the morning. Someone whose hair has never had split-ends. I hope you find someone whose inside is as beautiful as her outside.
I hope you find someone who will do anything for you, just like she did.
Tomorrow, she will scroll through the images of perfect girls on social media, but she will feel no jealousy. No insecurity. Because she has realized there is nothing more important than accepting herself. Loving every blemish that makes her. Loving every imperfection she possesses. Because with those imperfections, she can determine if a man can truly love her. So definitely, it’s not you.
Your leaving only made her better than the perfect girls you’re dreaming about, because you allowed purification flow through her life. That big scar you caused her heart? It just denotes a sacrifice for love. And her brokenness is actually painting silhouettes of strength, hope, and learning.
Your leaving only made her better than perfect, because now she knows how to love herself. She’s learned how to improve herself, only for herself.
She will still put makeup on, wear fine dresses, and bathe herself with perfume.
She will still aim perfection.
But this time, it’s for her personal growth, not for you or anyone else.