How To Love Me Imperfectly, Yet Genuinely

couple looking happy together on rooftop
God & Man

I never expect love to be perfect. Because I know even the love stories in fairy tales manifest flaws, disappointments, heartbreaks. Even royalties, beauty queens, and wonderful celebrities go through failures in relationships. And even familial love has its struggles. So who am I to expect a love that’s impeccable? Who am I to demand love that doesn’t hurt a whit? I will never expect love to be perfect. But please, if you’re going to love me, love me imperfectly, yet genuinely.

Love me genuinely by accepting my own imperfections but helping me to be a better person.

I easily get insecure. I don’t have that many skills and talents. I’m not good at cooking, or even at making a great blend of milk and coffee. I have various weaknesses and quirks which can turn people off. So if you really love me, you have to face every part of me. I don’t want you to just overlook them. I don’t want you to love me blindly. I want you to stare straight at them, accept them, and understand that I am made of those imperfections. But as you accept them, I hope you also encourage me to be a better person. Maybe not directly, but in a way where I get motivated to improve myself because of the love you show me. I hope that you are willing help me conquer every weakness I possess. I hope that we build something where we thrive together, because a love that’s genuine kills the fear of stepping out of our comfort zones.

Love me genuinely by showing me who you really are.

I don’t need your pretentions. I don’t want you to impress me with exaggeration. I want to know who’s behind the mask that men usually wear when they want to win a woman. Tell me everything about you. Your fears. Your weaknesses. Even your past. I want to know everything as early as possible because I don’t want to end up disappointed. I don’t want false hopes. I prefer a brave man who risks showing who he really is and at the same time wills to be a better one for me. I prefer someone whom I know by his spontaneous actions, not by mere words and affectations. I prefer what’s within, because a love that’s genuine should be perceived literally—not fake, no pretensions. Only purity, and from purity comes good intentions.

Love me genuinely by loving my loved ones, too.

Because it’s like asking for permission from them to share with the love I give them. Whether it’s my family, my friends, relatives, I want you to prove them that you also deserve me. I want you to respect them. Right from the start let’s keep in mind that the world should not revolve only between the two of us. We still have our family. We still have a camaraderie outside our relationship. They are the people who would be there for us if we get against each other or if we encounter problems we can’t resolve on our own (because that’s inevitable). So I hope we don’t close our doors for them, because a love that’s genuine does not make us selfish and trade them for having each other.

Love me genuinely by supporting my dreams and passion.

I’m already sick of the people who try to invalidate my life endeavors. I’m already fed up with unsolicited criticisms and dissuading comments. So I hope you won’t be part of them. I hope that, as you fell in love with me, you also fell for what makes me happy, for my life goals and wild ambitions. I hope that you won’t leave just because sometimes I’d act impractically. I hope you won’t be scared that I might lose some things like my job, my financial stability, while I pursue my dreams. I want you to trust me in everything I do. I want you to trust me in what I can do, because a love that’s genuine builds strong trust in between—the trust which we can climb to reach our individual goals.

Love me genuinely by being faithful and committed.

You might give me an excuse that being unfaithful is an imperfection, and so love can be this kind of imperfect. Let’s not fool ourselves. Yes, it may be part of imperfection, but it can never represent genuineness. You can never tell you love me but still has the audacity to look at somebody else. I want someone who is faithful enough to know when temptation is lurking around and what’s the right thing to do then. I want someone who doesn’t make me feel jealous. Who doesn’t make me demand reassurance. And doesn’t consider me as a temporary partner that he would soon look for another one in replacement of me. If you’re going to love me, then it means you’re going to commit with me. It means you choose me. A love that’s genuine comes with the knowledge that love is more of a choice than a feeling. It will find ways to stay despite all the struggles.

So when I ask you to love me imperfectly yet genuinely, it means I anticipate trials, I anticipate disagreements, and even leaving distances between the two of us as we work things out. Because with true love, we will definitely end up finding our way back to each other.

The love that’s genuine is what I deserve. Never equate my worth with anything that’s fake, cheap, and can be easily broken. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

An insouciant soul, believer of joy in a mad world.

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