To my far away lover, sometimes I wish to cease and give up. To just let go and find something better. But I can’t. Because my heart doesn’t want to.
It softly kills me at night when I ache for your presence. My heart writhes when I need your warmth and all I got is a pillow I could hug to think it’s you and a hankie that smells of your perfume. My mind gets exhausted in dancing through the imagination of us being together. ALWAYS together. Not every month. Twice a week. Nor every other day. I badly wish to physically be with you forever.
But what can we do? Time cannot shorten the distance between us that easy. And what can I do? You give me so many reasons to hold on. It so happened you became my forever person.
We met and fell for each other already with such distance between, and even if it remains in between through these years, it makes me glad somehow that it doesn’t lessen our love for each other. It cannot ruin our trust, our faithfulness, our dreams. It has attempted to, but it just can’t. That distance even makes our hearts grow fonder—tougher that they choose to persevere. Our hearts choose to be happy simply for having each other, despite the situation.
Well, bet this is true love.
It’s the love that chooses to stay. The love that chooses to still believe. The love that chooses to make a way. The love that chooses. Because love itself is a choice.
We have the choice to just let everything fade since video-calling isn’t really enough. Since we don’t have the ability to meet easily when one is struggling. And we never know if one has already been seeing another. Our relationship is so vulnerable. But the choice we made is to fight for it. And that’s how we continue to cultivate the love we share.
It makes me rather excited.
It makes me so excited for the time where we’ll finally be together. Like a reward for waiting for that right time. No matter how long it takes, we know it’s worth it. Because what we do to maintain our relationship is a hard work that, we firmly believe, will pay off. (It’s a happy hard work, anyway.)
A house where we finally share things—a dinner table, bed, TV, couch, coffee—how lovely would it be once we get to that? And of course, a family. That fancy dream we always talk about will take place soon and all we need to do is to make ourselves better for each other as we wait.
To my far away lover, thank you for everything. For making ways to communicate with me. For your messages that affirm. For reassuring even when I don’t ask you to. For being so faithful, sincerely saying I’m beautiful even when you don’t always see me personally. For the trust. For keeping up on our plans. For the art of looking after my worth from a distance. For your choice to love me still. For the commitment. Thank you for making me feel like I’m the luckiest person.
Because even when we’re apart, you make me feel so loved. With your words. Your abstract, unique efforts. With the way you make me laugh and smile at the thought of you. Of us.
And so with this love that perseveres despite your being far away, I will never lose the hope that we will finally be together someday.